


Babe.

by SS98



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 19 Year Old Harry, 9 Year Old Louis - Freeform, ? - Freeform, Abuse, Baby Louis, Boss Harry, Bottom Louis, Cute Louis, Daddy Harry, Disturbing, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Scenes, M/M, Obsessed Harry, Pedophile Harry, Psycho Harry, Shy Louis, Stalker Harry, Student Louis, Top Harry, Violence, he's not a pedophile just obsessed, kinda Pedophile Harry, little louis, not of a sexual nature ONLY, smol, they grow up don't worry, triggers for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5184962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SS98/pseuds/SS98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry becomes obsessed with Louis and it doesn't matter that Louis is a decade younger than him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <b><br/></b><br/><i>DISCLAIMER:</i><br/> </p><p> </p><p>  <b>(1) I do not condone any behaviour depicted in this work. I do not support child abuse, pornography or anything of that nature.</b><br/><b>(2) I do not own One Direction and nothing in this book is related to or depicting any of them.</b><br/><b>(3) The plot, circumstances in the story are not based on any actual occurences and any reference is purely coincidental.</b><br/><b>(4) I do not support child pornography.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_[A/N: Being repposted. Please read the disclaimer in the story summary. If you haven't: (1) I do not condone any behaviour depicted in this work. I do not support child abuse, pornography or anything of that nature. (2) I do not own One Direction and nothing in this book is related to or depicting any of them. (3) The plot, circumstances in the story are not based on any actual occurences and any reference is purely coincidental. (4) I do not support child pornography. - S xx]_ **

_It's warm and it's familiar to me. It has two eyes and the smile of an innocent. It's my home._

He's beautiful. He really is. All four feet in height of him, with electric eyes of liquid sapphire and those ten little fingers that always got grubby from a day in the dirt. On Sundays he played soccer and got extra dirty because the next lesson wasn't until Wednesday. He danced in front of the TV so you couldn't see and every time I had to leave because his waist was so delicate, so well formed in its perfect curve over his bum. 

His name is Louis, my step-mother's son from a previous marriage. Maybe she was a gold-digging whore, but her precious angel was my first victim.

  
* * * * *  


"You've asked me for my opinion on her twice from just a photograph. I cannot tell you _shit_ from a photograph." I snarled at my father who was desperate for my approval.

He kept bugging me for my thoughts on the woman from his office he's been shagging. I couldn't care less if he knocked her up and then ran her over, the only mother I'll ever have is six feet under because he drove her insane with infidelity. Since then he's been at my arse for some kind of recognition, which I sometimes gave to him so he'd leave me alone. 

"Son, she's coming over tonight with her boy and I'd like you to try and be nice." He implored, beady little grey eyes stalking me as I got out a fresh can of iced tea. 

"You won't be seeing me 'til morning." I brusquely inform him, plans with other people already forming.

"Please, Harry." He followed me as I got to my Harley keys. "Her son is such a sweet boy, just nine years old."

 _Nine?_ I pause in my stride and think this over. What a precious age is nine, right? Something stirred in my gut and I couldn't smother it. I didn't try. I've been a glutton for my own lust after different things all my life, having a father who'll pay for them and an IQ high enough to clean up after myself.

"Alright." I drop my keys back into the woven bowl he got from Africa. "I want you to cancel my shrink appointments for the next month and I'll be nice to her kid." _Even let him sleep in my bed._

"Deal." My father's chubby face extends in a wide smile. "No shrink."

I leave him standing there in the foyer of our loft while I retire to the safety of my bedroom. It's an en-suite with zero posters and no gothic ambiance. My walls are clean white with all black bedding right in the middle with the biggest mattress I could find online. My clothes were organised in my closet and my only weakness could be found in a gift box under my bed..

It was a rectangular box that was meant for a family scrapbook, but over the years filled with baby magazines. I wish I could say I couldn't help myself and I'm too weak for the urges that sometimes built up whenever I bought a new one. It wasn't infants and toddlers I sometimes found myself staring at with a fist around my c*ck in the dead of night, nor was there a preference at all. 

If it was beautiful, I wanted it. Okay maybe there was a preference.

After being left alone for four hours, the sky began to darken and my father came knocking on my door. I didn't respond, only let his third knock ring out before he spoke. 

"Son?" He always hoped for an answer from me. In nineteen years he hasn't gotten one. "She's on her way with Louis."

I frown irritably around my cigarette. "Who the fuck is Louis?"

"Her son." He clears his throat, myself getting back to my Styvesant. "They'll be here anytime now."

I listen to his heavy footsteps getting softer and softer, moving down the lonely hall towards the kitchen and dining room. This is about the time I wake up and make an effort to shower, under today's record it will be my third and final one. 

In the shower I think about things that need clearing up. I've been working at my father's company for six months as an IT specialist, running the whole system from my office in the bunker of the building. Tomorrow is Monday and also my birthday, so I ought to make a point clear to any asshole who tries to bring it up. 

Then there's the high school friends who never grew out of weed and booze. They still meet up every damn weekend to get wasted and hit each other, girls included. Those who have grown up are ones like Taylor, who now expect me to fulfil my duty as a boyfriend. I make a mental note to send her a text saying that's never going to happen.

I step out of the shower and decide to wear something that will test the loyalty of my father's new bimbo. If she wants money, she won't care which Styles gives it to her.

The doorbell rings as I pull on my transparent button-up. It's an expensive one, black sheer with giant red roses across the front and a back that shows everything there is to see. My father's voice turns from warm to childish as he probably welcomes the youngest guest for the evening. 

He's nine years old. He deserves a good welcome, and that's why I should be there.

I leave my room after locking the door with the key only I possess. After nineteen years of living in a house as the only child - a son, no less - one learns to guard one's territory. 

"Mister Styles!" A loud and high-pitched but easily recognisable as male voice shouts to my father. 

Someone shooshes him as I reach the end of the hallway, watching the scene play out from the shadows. I'm perfectly hidden here and if someone were to see me I might look like a man with cat eyes. The hope fills me. 

The little fellow is a under the average height of a nine year old, with an adorable little face. I want to step out but not yet, I tell myself. Let's watch him for a little longer. The little lad is answering one of my father's questions, showing off nine tiny fingers while his mother tried to get him out from behind her leg. He was bold but also shy. How precious.

This fine young boy was probably Louis by my deduction. He had on pyjamas instead of dress clothes and a small Marvel backpack that looked like he'd packed it himself. He had a head of feathery light brown hair, combed to the side in a soft fringe. 

Time to get out of the shadows.

I walk out one step at a time with my hands behind my back to gauge every reaction I get from Louis. He doesn't even see me at first because he's studiously examining the straps that dangled at the front of his bag. My father claps my shoulder when I come to a halt, ready to display father-son bonding that will cost him later. 

"Harry, this is Jennifer." He tells me, but after a brief glance at her I'm back to watching Louis. Little Louis.

A glance is all I needed of her. She's not beautiful but her make up made her so, and I'd not waste a moment on her. Louis _was_ the epitome of beauty however. He finally looked up and his eyes twinkled like tiny stars. 

"And her son, Louis Austin." My father finally introduced us. 

I find myself getting on my knees because I need to be on the same level as this little bundle. He's not smiling but still twirling the bright red straps of his bag between his _tiny_ fingers. He was either not actually nine years old, or just a little stunted for his age.

"Hello, Louis." I extend my hand towards him, wanting him to be nothing but comfortable around me.

He had to comfortable. If he wasn't, he'd never let me touch him in anyway let alone the ways I _need_ to. Such soft skin it looked like, creases by his eyes formed when he smiled too much. This boy had to be in my life, had to be the _be all and end all_ of my life. If he wasn't, what would be? 

My father is so surprised by my behaviour as I am nowhere near forthcoming in any encounters I have with any of his acquaintances. This little wonder however, will have all my attention. 

Louis doesn't smile. He _beams_ and emits his own light into the room. His teeth are perfect and white, one little crooked molar at the corner that needed kisses. He ignores my hand and throws himself at me, effectively creating heartbeats that thudded painfully against my ribcage. I stopped breathing and waited for my dream to end, but it never did and I got to hold him back. 

My father is laughing along with Jennifer, teasing my Louis' fondness of cuddling with people who are pleasant. I get more than one whiff of his freshly bathed smell, both my hands covering the span of his back. I bury my nose in his neck and he deems the hug over after he's done playing with my damp hair. 

"I'm Louis!" He introduced himself, and that's the voice I'll be hearing when I fall asleep. 

"Well I'm Harry." I chuckle, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. "Harry Styles."

Louis' lips turn into a pout, a fascinated sound leaving him. "Oooooh." 

"What is it?" I ask, intrigued by this sound. 

"You have a pretty name, Mister Harry!" He's grinning again, giving what's left of my soul tiny shock therapy. 

"And you as well, Mister Louis." 

He gasps and his eyes go wide, more blue revealed to me. "I'm not a Mister!"

"Oh you aren't?" I smirk across at him, feeling so powerful yet so crippled by this boy whose shoulders hardly got under my palms. 

"No!" He shook his head, hair getting messier. "I'm too little."

"You're never too little, babe." I tack on the petname for Pete's sake, hoping it'll stick because if it didn't I might scream. 

I watch his attention span take him back to his bag straps. He fiddles with them more intently now, looking up at his mother who is occupied by my father's talk about something boring. 

"Is it uncomfortable?" 

He nods slowly, a saddened look overcoming his features as he took one strap half off and made an uncomfortable whine. It was so late for him, by now he's supposed to be asleep now so he doesn't get crabby. Does his unfit mother know nothing of her obligations to him? 

A boy like this is rare. Rare and so, so valuable. I wish he was mine. Mine to enforce bedtime with and mine to hold when the thunder got too loud. I'd keep him warm and safe beneath my body, of course, so nothing and nobody else could touch him. I would caress him where he needed it and let him hold onto me when I wanted it. 

"Here." I minutely shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts starting to filter through. 

I assist him in removing his heavy load, unburdening him. He grins at me as a thank you and I find myself leaning forward already. I refrain because both adults are watching us again, and a violent impulse to toss the mother down a flight of stairs is becoming insufferable.

"Mister Harry, that bag is too heavy for me." Louis refuses to hold it again when I offer it back. 

"Come on, Lou." His mother sounds disapproving. "Hold the bag."

"It's fine." I stand up and take the bag with me, hoisting the handle over my shoulder. "I'll show Louis the apartment."

"Dinner will be ready soon, son." My father turns to me, his arm already around the whore. "We'll call when we're ready."

Louis is clinging to my jeans already and he's continually patting my thigh for attention. I gaze down at him with my head bent at an angle, smirking when he smiles sweetly and extends his arms upward. Lifting him up, I set his light mass on my hip and secure him with an arm around his behind. 

"Behave now, Lou." His mother tells him, turning around with my father to go about their business.

The angel in my arms doesn't seem to even care much for what she said, kicking his legs back and forth over my abdomen as he looked everywhere with vivid curiosity. I was tall and probably gave him a new vantage point.

"What would you like to see, babe?" I shiver at him putting his head on my shoulder. 

"I wanna s-see your room!" He exclaims, excited by the thought of adventure probably. 

"Do you?" I begin the trek back down the hall I came from. "I'm a very boring Mister."

"No, no." He looks at me as if I'd offended him, pouting as I get out my room key. "Mister Harry is sweet."

"Do you like sweets, Louis?"

"Love sweets." He's an energetic little bunny on his side, twitching and squirming after we've entered my room. "Do you like sweets, Mister Harry?"

"I happen to love all sweet things." I flip on the light switch, hardly speaking loud enough to be heard. 

I put him down on the carpet and he makes a beeline for my bed, already trying to climb up onto it. I bite my lip as I watch him struggle for a little while, his one leg bending in the air while he tried to climb. His bum became pronounce in his sleep wear when he did that.

"Mister Harry!" He shot me out of my cloud. 

"Yes, babe?" I clear my throat and drop his bag on my made bed. 

"Help." He says in a lovely voice, quiet and delicious. 

My aid is offered again as I lift him up onto the mattress. It was a high one for anyone, really. When I'm about to drop him, my thumbs fan out on his thighs and their length allowed me to get a feel of his behind. It was soft and arched to my touch. 

He's so precious, such a delectable little treat when he scrambles onto the middle of my bed. He grabs his bag and crosses his legs, emptying everything from the bag onto my sheets. I can do nothing but watch as he sorts things out, his pink tongue as little as the rest of him poking out between his lips. 

"Mister Harry, look!" He held out something from his stash of toys. 

It was a Ben 10 wrist watch item. I don't know the proper name as I never watched the cartoon but it's massive and would tip my poor Louis over if he wore it.

"What is this?" I ask anyway, wanting to hear more of that musical voice. 

His eyes trained on me trying to figure out the toy. "It's a Ben ten. Is it pretty?"

I look up at him and find the little boy leaning over to watch me make a green light flicker. Pointless junk. "Not as pretty as you, babe."

Louis giggled instead of laughing obnoxiously. He found another accessory item and showed it to me proudly. "And what about this, Mister Harry?"

"Still not as pretty as you, I believe." I frowned at the little action figure.

"No!" He covered his mouth and laughed behind those dainty pale palms. 

"Why do you cover your mouth, Louis?" I ask, sticking two finger between those hands and drawing them away. 

"Ma said to not laugh too loud." He explains like it's the simplest thing in the world, taking the action figure from me and battling it with another. 

"You have a pretty laugh, babe. Don't cover it." I tell him confidently, an urge burning like acid in my chest. "Ever."

"M-Ma will be mad, Mister Harry!" He crawls closer to me and settles down on my right, making a winter solider walk on my arm. "Ma will take my toys away."

"Oh babe." I give in to my demon and press a longing kiss to Louis' temple. It fitted against my lips perfectly. "Then just around me you can laugh as loudly as you want."

He gives me a bright smile and goes back to his toys, offering more junk I don't recognise but watch him play anyway because being in his presence is enough to take my breath away. Louis makes his plastic horses gallop across my sheets as he lies on his front, his feet in the air. I'm rubbing some form of pattern on his back where the onesie clothed him, my rhythm failing as a sweat broke out when I got closer to the curve of his bum. 

"Louis, what's this?" I ask after finding an iPhone in his bag. 

Sniffling he looks at the object with a bottom lip jutting out. "Ma gave me."

"Why?" I ask, tapping away on the unlocked device to add my number into the system. 

"To be safe." He answers proudly.

"Well, Louis-" I tuck it back into his bag. "-don't show it to anyone if you want to be safe, okay?"

"Yes, Mister Harry."

"Who knows that you have it?" I ask, urgently needing to document these answers for his security. 

"M-Miss Leesa and Elle." He replies, quieter in his volume. 

"Who are they?"

He starts to cry. 

I'm completely lost for something to do about this and he's getting louder which will call for the attention of the adults down in our living room. I bite my lip and gather him up in my arms, against my chest where he weeps into my shirt. 

"Don't cry, babe. I'm not angry with you." I say in a hushed whisper, petting his hair and wiping the tears away. "Come on now, Louis. Don't cry."

He starts to babble as he tries to say something, struggling to get it out through spit clogging his throat and tears staining his cheeks. His perfect, freckled cheeks.

"I-I-I-" He tries wiping his nose with his hand but I stop him and replace it with a tissue. "T-Tired."

"Oh, babe." I almost laugh at how adorable he becomes when he's like this, holding him straight up against my shoulder. "Are you sleepy?"

He's sucking his thumb on my shoulder by the sound of it and I sigh, pleased by the stop in noise levels. I find a pacifier amongst the toys in a blue plastic case and before handing it to him, I place it in my mouth. 

"No, Mister Harry!" He tugs on the circular handle, becoming instantly calm when I let him have it. "My paci."

I'm just glad that he stopped with the awful crying. My angel Louis didn't deserve to cry for anything. I feel his legs wrap around my middle in this awkward position, his head setting itself on my shirt. 

"Don't you share, babe?" I lightly rock him, obsessed with the need to look after this boy more than breathe air. 

"Paci's are for babies, Mister Harry. Babies like me." He tells me, all loud and proud.

"You're not a baby, Louis." 

"Not baby?" He tries finding a way to lock his fingers together around my neck. 

"No, no." I repeat him from earlier. "You're a big boy, babe."

**_[A/N: Thank you to the person who complained about this story. You've taught me the importance of clarifying everything. Reminder that I do not condone behaviour such as what is mentioned in this story. It is sick and twisted for an adult to prey on a child. This is not centred around paedophilia, but rather around an obsession. Triggers for this book: Assault (not of a sexual nature). Violence. Vulgarity. Much later one (when both characters are of consenting age), explicit sexual content. Not much blood. Subtle stalking. - S xx]_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_[A/N: To clear up some things you guys are concerned about: (1) Harry won't lose interest in Louis as the latter grows older because he's obsessed with the boy. (2) Confusion about paedophilia? Harry is NOT a pedophile. (3) The age difference is a drastic one, definitely. I'm sorry if it makes anyone uncomfortable but that aspect will remain. They will become older. (4) This writing doesn't seem like mine, some of you say. I can assure it is all mine. It's a deeply disturbing genre, I'll admit, but sometimes I just have to or it has an effect on me. - S xx]_ **

_An man obsessed is the man most powerful._

I held Louis the entire time he slept, lost to me and this world while he dreamt of things as sweet and innocent as he. He sometimes shifted in his slumber, struggling to rest peacefully in the arms he's been missing for so long. He'd suckle on his pacifier and when his mouth went slack, it fell out completely. I'd put it back in place every time but not before getting a taste for myself. 

My father came knocking on my door at something to seven and I once again didn't answer him after his third knock. "Dinner's ready. We can't hear Louis, is he okay?"

Frowning as if insulted - which I was because it's like he didn't expect to get on well with my Louis - I open the door after leaving my angel to sleep under my covers. 

"He's asleep." I tell the intruder, crossing my arms and leaning against the doorway in a way too aggressive to be bypassed.

"Ah. Okay." My father rubs his papery hands together. "Are you-"

"No." I answer before he can complete his sentence about a dinner invitation. 

"Harry, you promised to be decent tonight." He sighs and his untanned, pre-botox age shows his tiredness. 

"I'm babysitting her son. Is that not decent enough?"

He retires after retort. "Fine. I'll come back when Jennifer is.....ready to leave."

My old man turns around and makes his way back down the path that led him here. There's a reason I hated that man and there's a reason he's so unsure around me, and that is because he knows not who I am but who I'm capable of becoming.

Will the woman mind that I'm practically holding her baby boy hostage? If I could, I'd lock the door and never let anyone in. Louis seems impressionable enough to let go easily, now that I stand by his head watching him sleep on his back. Such purity in such a small form. It could be moulded and sculpted, all by my hands, to tell a story that words can't describe.

I get to watch my angel Louis sleep for a little while longer, his arms beside his head and with that ridiculously pale dummy in his mouth. A wicked fantasy establishes itself in my mind, replacing the pacifier between those rosy cheeks and pink lips with my fingers or _otherwise._

It's not all that important right now, my sexual gratification. I wanted my babe to be safe and happy always, such a rare gem must be cherished. No one would do that job better than me. I've been neglected and neglectful but I could take care of my own.

"Dream sweet things, babe." I press a chaste kiss to the delicate frame of his forehead.

After neatening up his toys and packing them at least twice into his bag with a kind of method, I sit at my desk with my chair spun around to watch over him. I could hear the adults laughing to themselves down the hall like a couple of bafoons. If Louis were my boy - though he _is mine_ now - I'd never let him out of my sight.

Louis turns and tosses in his sleep, no care in the world for how he messes up my sheets with his short legs kicking them so much. He'd rub his eyes sometimes and make a small whine at the back of his throat, all while he was dozing. This boy was a gift to this Earth, and to someone as lost as I am.

Time passed me by and sooner than I wanted, my father came knocking on my door again. One. Two. Three.

"Harry?" He sounded like he was smiling, tipsy from expensive champagne probably. "Jen is leaving. Is Louis still asleep?"

I wait two beats before standing up reluctantly, dragging my feet over the carpet as I come to hit my knees on the bed. Louis is so peaceful on his side, hands and legs sprawled out to take up as much space as possible even if a grown individual - myself - could sleep comfortably beside him. 

Remembering that I had found a blanket in his bag, deep purple with a small L embroidered at the corner, I go to fetch it. My hands shake as I throw it over him, taming his body parts to relax beneath the covering. I scoop him up into a bundle in my arms and tucking all the corners of the blanket in so that he was well insulated.

My father tries to take him from me at the door which is an unspoken insult to my care-giving skills. He never expected me to get along with Louis, let alone become this fond of him so soon. At the front door I am forced to give Louis up to his mother, whose facial expression indicates that she may have forgotten her pregnancy and labour.

"Have a good night." My father holds the door open, watching her climb into the elevator with Louis and his bag. 

"Goodnight." She responded, I heard and hadn't seen because I found the leftover champagne and desperately needed a drink now. 

I find myself being joined by my old man in the kitchen, finishing his glass of golden sparkle while I top one up. It's the last bit so I toss the bottle in the trash and make my way to my room before any sort of conversation can be struck.

After downing my entire glass of champagne, finding it inadequate to give me the high I needed, I strip out of all my clothes and roll into bed. If I find myself on the side Louis slept, it was no surprise. My hand crept beneath the covers as my eyes slipped shut and that scent of baby powder filled my nostrils. 

The waistband of my boxers moved away so easily, as if furthermore goading me on to find pleasure in the name of my Louis. Oh I would. His small hands with even smaller fingers, pale and new to the world, were what I thought of first. Biting my lip, I fantasised about those hands getting curious like his high voice and wandering over my body. I'd let him. Fuck, would I let him.

He'd sit on my hips right over my clothed dick, never once noticing how much he tempted me. Giggles and crinkled eyes were sin to me henceforth. My hand gripped my swelling length where I could feel it twitch in my palm. I frown at myself as I've never wanked before other than as the aftermath of a wet dream during my years of early puberty. 

I start to pump my hand slowly, peeling back the boxers to make the job easier. Hot breaths escape me, all filled with one tiny image of Louis from my warped mind at the moment. My thumb worked over the tip, pulling back the foreskin and rubbing over a special hidden spot I knew I had. I had to imagine it was my angel or I'd feel more disgusted with myself and give up. 

A tongue far cuter than an adult's, daintier palms and baby soft skin gliding against me was enough to rile up what the sleepiest thing about me was. I bit back my groan and pumped faster, imagining Louis a little older with just the same hair and an aged face. He can't do now what he could in the future, like bounce on my c*ck like a pretty boy who obeyed. It will hurt him now and I'd rather be hit by a bus than hurt him.

I came hot and sticky into my own hand, no regrets or even an ounce of ill will for my perverted ways. Louis' beautiful and that's fuel enough for me.

  
* * * * *  


It's at the usual hour of six in the morning that my father arrives with his usual trio of knocks on my door. 

"I'm leaving now." He sounds distracted by the clip of his watch, as he always is when he comes to awkwardly say goodbye. "I've invited Jen again tonight for a little dinner."

I perk up at this news. Jennifer the whore meant Louis would be coming along as well, which is the best news I've heard all day. "And Louis?"

"I'm sure he'll tag along." He says slowly, unsure of himself about discussing this. 

_Well then happy freaking birthday to me._

"What time are you coming in to the office today?" He asks, a small rattle against my door indicating he's leaning against it. 

"Eight." I answer from the other side, still covered in splatter of dried come from last night and waiting for the opportunity to wash it out. 

"You can come in a little late today." He tries, the early morning hour making him sniff. 

"No." And I'm back to my clean-up. 

The front door opens and locks from the outside, signalling that I'm alone in the apartment until our housekeeper arrives for duty from downstairs. I make my bed and have a hot shower in that time, taking my time with scrubbing the areas that needed special attention. 

In the shower I wonder whether Louis knows how to shower himself, if he can even _reach_ the knobs on the wall. Or he could still be using a child's plastic tub what with how tiny he is. I'd love to see it but there's a long road to travel down before that happens. For now I stick to my fantasies, biting into my arm when I orgasm a second time in the water flow to keep from crying out.

" _Fuck_ , Louis." I groan into the bite mark. "What are you doing to me, babe?"

  
* * * * *  


Nobody wishes me a jolly birthday with a prosperous new year and many more to come when I go to work. I park my Jaguar near the front exit beside my father's Audi and ignore everyone on my way to my desk. There are things to be fixed of course, details to be ironed out. 

I get a printed list - I made I clear that I won't accept handwriting - of what went wrong over the weekend and procedures taken to rectify them, which I now had to double check on. In my office I sat in my chair with the largest cup size of coffee beside my bluetooth keyboard. 

"Hey, Harry." And there's the one person I was hoping wouldn't come my way today.

Taylor. 

Her bright lipstick and blonde hair, flat shoes and short skirts all made me very uneasy. She was hot back in high school and probably to a depraved man she still was, but I found no interest in her. 

"Yes?" I keep myself lodged in front of my desk, answering her with disinterest as I scan the coding on a hard drive blueprint.

"Happy birthday." She was smiling, no _grinning_ by the sound of it. 

"Okay." I gulp down some coffee and go back to my computer screen. 

She obviously wasn't done despite my dire efforts to dispose of her. "Got any plans?"

"Yes."

"Yeah?"

That's what I said. I ignore her and continue working, getting slightly hunched over as I focused more intently on the screen. Her reflection was on it and it bugged me to high Hell.

"Have a nice day, Harry." She said in parting, but simply walking out the door wasn't enough for her. 

She had to leave a gift-wrapped little box on my table with a small tag and even go so far as to kiss my cheek. I resist the urge to physically push her away as it looks like the latest juice cleanse has her as thin as a twig. After she's gone, I wake up and dash into the gents bathroom on my level. 

The lipstick _burns_ and I want to get it off before my cheek becomes a path of useless skin. Louis, I kept him in mind, I had to be all his if he was to be all mine.

Returning to my desk meant throwing out the gift from Taylor and going back to work. The screen is what I've been working with for the past half year and it's starting to take a toll on my eyesight. I had to wear glasses at moments when my vision got blurry to focus the digits and words more clearly, as I did now.

Lunch hour was the worst because I was obligated to leave my safe haven to join those outside of it. I took a walk rather than drove to a nearby cafe and ordered something I haven't tried before. Standing in the queue ahead of a hurried woman and behind a surfer bloke, I got to watch people interact from a safe point of view. 

Lunch dates and social gatherings at the largest booths to accommodate them, girls who giggle and girls who get down to business because they hated the first stereotype of girls. The contrast made me chuckle even if the joke was not verbal. Something about that deed must have summoned the attention of the giggling gang because they were suddenly all looking at me, so I turned to the menu.

I got a strange sounding chicken wrap and a citrus smoothie before carrying it with me back to the office. I ate it at one of my cleaner desks with no technical equipment, finishing up quickly and tossing the containers away.

After a monotonous day at work, around three o'clock the best thing that could ever happen to a man like me did happen. The first sign was a phone call from the first line, which was my father's office.

"Yes?" I put him on speaker, switching off the computer towers I wasn't working with. 

"Jennifer's dropping by to come home with us." He says, some rustling in the background.

My heart pounding causes me to stop tapping away on the key-less board beneath my fingers and stare with a dry tongue at the command I'd entered that I no longer understood. 

"Okay." I swallow hard to keep from stuttering. _Louis._

"We'll pick up her boy from school on the way home." He informs me, and I rise to a challenge. 

"I'll do it." I say boldly, much too boldly.

"What?" He stops the rustling, probably chasing away his personal assistant again.

"I can fetch Louis. What school does he go to?" I grab a pen and find no paper, positioning the ball point over my sweaty palm.

"Um-" He's rubbing his temples in thought. "-Montessori."

Well of course he is. Montessori is the third most expensive and exclusive school in all of London, it being the only one on that list that's close enough to us. I went to Montessori as well from pre-school to my graduating year.

"Okay." I no longer need to jot it down and prepare to hang up. I know classes for kindergarten end at half three in Montessori.

"You clocking off now?" He asks. He still has an hour left to work, which meant I had an hour free to whisk my angel away wherever he wanted to go.

"Yes." I reply, shutting down the system I worked with and checking the servers to ensure that the space they have installed will last them tonight. 

My father hangs up when he knows this conversation is going nowhere, as is with all our conversations. I cut off the horrid dial tone and grab my keys, phone and wallet on my way out. The new server hardware was coming in tomorrow which meant I had homework to do, so I collected the manuals the manufacturing company had sent me and head out. The office locks behind me with my password, which not another soul knew.

Montessori is a short drive from the office building of Styles & Co. I would get picked up my nannies and drivers everyday for seventeen years so I knew the route like the back of my hand.

My excitement begins to tip over my control as I pull into the pick-up zone of my alma mater, letting the engine run just so I had something to concentrate on while I gripped the steering wheel. So many little kids were filing out of the building, running towards their wealthy parents and care-givers. 

Then _he_ runs out. Sweet little Louis on his own but a bright smile on his face as he sprinted down the walkway. I had to get out and let him see me, but _God_ in his white shorts and shirt I doubt I'd survive that.

I find the courage lurking behind my cowardice and jump out of the Jaguar to stand beside it, my hands in my pockets as I search for him. My heart begins to race a mile a minute when I can't see his head of perfect brown hair anywhere and feel the need to toss people aside so I can locate him.

"Mister Harry!" A squeal later and I have Louis wrapped around my legs, squeezing me in a child's hug. 

I choke on air and compose myself, shifting to ease the tightness in my pants. I bend down and pick him up, throwing him into the air slightly before catching him and placing him on my hip. He's so light for a nine year old, and hugs my neck with a warm smile.

"Hey, angel." I tuck some of his hair behind his ear and in line with the rest. "How was school?"

"Where's my Ma?" He picks his head up and makes me feel cold down to my bones, looking me right in the eye with his captivating blue orbs. 

"With my father." I try not to combust when his tiny, pale and thin fingers start to fidget with my shirt buttons. 

He suddenly looks very sad and my heart cracks along with all my ribs at the noticeable pout he's sporting.

"What's wrong, babe?" I manage to secure my arms around his body, concealing his marvellous bum from the universe. "Do you not like me?"

"No!" Louis now looks scandalised as the blue gets bluer, wider and his hands leave my shirt to pat my cheek. "I love Mister Harry."

"Do you?" My breath hitches. 

"Yeah." He's distracted again, and twirling some of my extensive hair with his fingers. "You have curlies, Mister Harry."

"I do." I take his bag off his narrow, weak shoulders and set it in the back-seat with him. "Do you like my hair, babe?"

He nods vigorously like a day at school won't ever tire him out. I strap him in with the seatbelt and chuckle when he tries resisting. 

"Here, angel." I give him my phone, opening one of the games I spent my lunch hour downloading.

"Yay." He seemed really thrilled but was already drawn into the app and could not be distracted. 

I throw caution to the wind and kiss his forehead, letting myself linger one extra second before getting out and closing the door. Louis watches me walk around to my seat, I feel him wondering what I'm doing with his young eyes focused on me. 

"What do you usually do after school, babe?" I pull into the traffic that's leaving the school premises via the football field.

"Ice cream!" He drops my phone onto the street and smiles mischievously at me through the mirror.

Smirking, I manoeuvre the Jaguar onto the street and pause at a red light. "Are you lying, babe?"

He shakes his head vehemently and it messes up his hair. "No lie, Mister Harry."

I hum and nod, feeling lighter in my chest as my self bought car glides over tar smoothly. There's a quaint ice cream bar owned by two youngsters in love after the female component inherited it from her grandmother. 

"What ice cream to you like, angel?" I ask, driving a little slower than usual to prolong our chat.

"Chocolate!" He announces with his milk teeth shining as he smiled. "And vanilla and strawberry and-"

"Oh okay." I laugh to end his tirade. "You have to pick one because you can't have all, babe."

I hold the top of the steering wheel and my hand bends for my palm to be upwards as it changes the motion. I turn into the parking space in front of the ice cream shop.

"Chocolate!" He starts to wiggle in his seat and _oh Lord_ this boy will be the imminent death of me. "Mister Harry?"

"Yes?" I glance at the rear view mirror to look at him. I'll always look at my angel when he needs me to.

His shyness breaks through again, and he's playing with his fingers in his lap. "Can-Can I call you Hazza?"

 _Hazza- what?_

My Louis feels the need to go on and justify himself because he knows he can't just spring a nickname onto someone. "W-We're friends now, Mister Harry. Are you my friend?"

Oh really, I'm a goner for this twinkly-eyed and angel faced beauty. "Of course, babe."

He grins, knowing half his battle is won. "See! So I-I wanna call you Hazza because I'm Loubear. You can call me Loubear if-if you want?"

I angle my body in my seat towards him, smiling as genuinely as I can at him while he kicks his feet back and forth. It's obvious he's having a hard time being held down. _Fuck._

"Alright, Loubear." I watch his smile get wide enough to hurt, creases at the corners of his mouth. "Let's go get you some ice cream."

"Ice cream!" He starts wrestling with the seat belt, when it doesn't budge he wails. "Hazza, the straps are mean!"

Well that simply won't do then. I get out of my driver's seat and walk around to his door, pulling it open and kneeling in the stone driveway to help him. I take his hands away from the latch, rubbing a comforting circle over the one that's gotten a little red. 

"There you go, angel." I help him slide out and hop down, instantly grabbing my hand. 

It felt remarkably small in mine. His stubby fingers didn't cover the surface area of my palm, and he tugged on my wrist so I'd look down at him. Wide eyes looked up at me, a hesitant smile on his lips as he extended his arms. 

"You like being carried, angel?" I once again find him perched on my hip, balancing his weight as I walk. 

"Little bit." He pinches his thumb and index finger together, showing me a visual representation of his liking. "I like when you carry me, Hazza."

"Yeah?" I step up onto the sidewalk and tuck him into my side a little closer, warmer. "I like carrying you around, Loubear."

My Loubear's smile is pressed like ice into my shoulder, shy but grateful anyway. He pays attention to everything because he doesn't have to worry about actually walking with me. There's a dog walker that passes us and he hides from the dog stares in my neck. 

The side of me he's against is burning like an insmotherable heat. It crashes through me in waves and leaves me stranded, empty of reason and brimming with such _hope_ for the future. What I could have from Louis nobody else had the right to offer, it's the way it would work.

I took a pink medium sized paper bowl from the front stand. "Why don't you hold this for me, babe?"

Louis gladly took it with both hands, the responsibility being a giant one for him. "Chocolate, Hazza!"

"Of course, of course." I chuckle, locating and approaching the wall that had three nozzles for chocolate flavours. 

Instead of being overjoyed with three variations of the ordinary chocolate flavour, my Louis squirms and his cheeks brighten up with distress. He seems to now hate the paper cup and drops it in my hand, one edge squashed by the fury of his baby fist. His arms lock weakly around my neck as he whines.

"What's wrong, babe?" I panic. Why is he upset? Didn't he want ice cream moments ago?

His face is blotchy when I manage to extract him from the collar of my work shirt, some darkness on the fabric from his tears. He wipes his nose and rubs his cheeks with both hands to remove the tear streaks, making me internally _coo._

"My tummy hurts, Hazza." He complains to me, a jump in his pitch and his hands seeking what comfort my neck seemed to offer. 

"I'm sorry, Loubear." I pull his shirt down over his tummy, brushing my cold thumb over the suspicious region. 

My angel in pain will be the end of my sanity. I simply cannot have it. I let him hold onto me as much as he wants, gripping me like a vine as his legs aren't long enough to lock around me. I kiss his forehead as he hangs on me, setting the paper cup down and walking out without a second thought.

"No, Hazza!" Louis starts crying out, tears again on his doll-like face. "Ice cream!"

Jesus _Christ_ this little angel is stabbing me right in the chest. I manage to fasten his wriggling body with both my arms and his, trying very hard not to let him fall. I'm so certain I would cry if that were to happen. Louis doesn't stop moving, treating me as his personal lazyboy couch, until I've got him trapped and stuck.

"You won't be getting ice cream until your tummy is fixed, babe." I let the passers by manoeuvre themselves around us and Louis' little tantrum. Some stare and others smile. 

"Tummy." He drags out the word like it's taboo. "Bad tummy?"

"Very bad." I agree, situating him correctly against my chest and stepping off the sidewalk. 

"Hazza?" He's got one hand on his front, sometimes scratching and other times just rubbing where it hurts. "Can you kiss my tummy, Hazza?"

If I had been eating, I'd have choked on whatever was in my mouth. If I'd been drinking, possibly experienced internal drowning. Now that I've got no socially acceptable reason to gulp the way I do, it's a bit tougher. I hold onto this pre-adolescent miracle and press my nose into his hair.

"Course, babe." I whisper secretively, feeling the soft press of his ear on my lips. "Later, okay?"

"No." He whines, extending the only syllable of the word, his tantalising pink lips rounded perfectly. "Want kisses, Hazza!"

He's telling me this but he's looking around us like curious little peacock in my arms, his neck craning as he studies everything big and small. Curiosity is mesmerising on him. It was uncensored because he was still learning, wanting to know the tiniest of details in the most majestic of objects.

"Later, babe." I promise him, delivering one small peck on his sinfully soft cheek. "Do you like doctors, Loubear?"

Louis turns back to me from the stand-up cardboard Valentines Day heart that was red enough to make his eyes hurt. "My doccie gee-ves me lollipops!"

"I take it you like lollipops as well then, huh?" Cue the painful gnawing of my bottom lip by my unforgiving teeth.

"Yeah." His baby voice making him sound so kissable. He weakened me to the spine of a cuddler.

"Is your doccie's number on your phone?" I ask, keeping my voice low and aimed at his ear. He giggles and fidgets where he's sat on my arm, shy smile reddening his cheeks. "We can go check out your tummy, babe."

The mention of his hurting abdominal region gets Louis to pout sadly again, rubbing his hand in circular motions over his slightly protruding belly as he scratched his neck. 

"But-" I pull his shirt down when it starts to ride up again. "-you can't have a lolly and ice cream. You get one."

"No, Hazzie!" He bounces on my arm in obvious protest, deeply saddened like the fussy ball of fire he is by my restriction. "Lolly and ice cream!"

"No, babe. Only one." 

He pouts and I'll admit it's a strong, nerve-destructive argument that makes not only my pants tighten but my heart clench. I could give in and let him have everything but even I must but barriers up for this little clap of thunder that owned my heart and mind. He would never have it stolen. I could never give it away to anyone else.

Mumbling his choice into my collarbones, Louis seems to be making point of showing off his hautiness. I want to bend him over my knee and hold him up against a wall and- _fuck._

"C-Come on, babe. Let's go check out your tummy." I carry and insert him into the back seat, needing to kneel in order to buckle him in. 

"Kisses, Hazzie!" He reminds me when I start rising to my feet again. How stupid of me.

"Sorry, babe." I chuckle, genuinely amused by the plump lip being jutted out at me. 

Controlling what _mad_ desires burn like coal to ash in my chest, setting everything from fire to ice, I lean in close and press my lips to his pudge. I kept it over his shirt because what if I lost it and tore it off him? I couldn't dare frighten him that way. 

I take sanctuary in the scent of sand and sweetness that fills my nose, lighting my senses up from the inside. He kicks his feet when I wait there too long, my hands supporting and pinning his hips. _Those hips._ Already so curvaceous and soft with the flesh of an innocent, an angel given to me.

Going through his phone, I find the contact details of his 'doccie' and drive there while on a call with the receptionist who books us in for twenty minutes from now. I drive a little over the speed limit and pass the flashes of street cameras, coming to a halt outside the general practitioner's complex. 

"Hazzie!" He doesn't ask me to carry him this time, just jumps down and slips his hand into mine as he walks alongside me.

"Yes, angel?" I try not to swoon from how his fingers are chubby and too short to fit between mine. 

"Don't let the doccie jab me, Hazzie." He pleads openly, dragging me to a halt just outside the offices. "It-It hurts too much!"

I bend down and kiss his forehead, offering him a hushed promise to keep him safe from any needles. He believes me and the storm of threatening tears lessens to mere doubt as we alert the receptionist of our arrival. We get to go through immediately. 

Finding out why Louis' tummy hurt happens to unravel into something that throws me off my hinges and has me feeling more than a little faint.

"And what happened here, Lou?" The doctor asks him about the purple bruise to the left of his belly button. He was still so young and it stuck out a little.

The bruise was hideous, outrageous. When the doctor moved away I strode up to Louis on the examination table and lightly dusted his fringe back, studying the mark myself. It was fresh and very small but that didn't matter. My Louis was _hurt_ as in _someone caused him harm_. I feel the first homicidal tendency coming on, nudging me and nudging me until I was lost in fiery hot rage.

Who _dare_ touch him this way?

"Oh what happened, Loubear?" I help him sit up, and even though he's surprisingly unaffected by such a bruise, I'm losing what little left I have to call my mind.

He shrugs at me and holds his arms out sheepishly. I don't hesitate this time and pick him up under his arms, holding him to my chest rather than on my hip. The press of his premature body, little and large in all the right places, had me rocking discreetly from side to side to comfort him and myself.

"These are very, very mild painkillers that will ease any pain he has if he gets it. Don't listen to his first words though, make sure it's legit." The medical doctor tells me, his blue dress shirt on under his white coat. "Is he asleep?"

I crane my neck to find out and indeed my angel Louis has fallen asleep, his mouth open and drooling on my shoulder. His arms went lax and his legs hung off my arms. He was so delicate like this, with me keeping him cocooned.

"I have not seen you before, Harry." The doctor issues me a note and colourful bag of pills. "Are you a friend of the family?"

All I can do is nod while I make my way out, escorted by the man himself. I protect Louis from the strong winds whipping harshly around us, concealing and shielding him with the lapels of my jacket. Inside the Jaguar, I put the heater on and buckle him in again so he's safe from falling.

Just as I kneel there, my jeans on rough stone and skin exposed to the same treatment, I steal a kiss I've been lusting after. It's not on his lips where I will wait for him to be sentient to carry out, but on his tummy after I lift the shirt and locate the horrendous bruise mark. 

I had to find out who did this or whether it was actually just innocent games. I felt like I couldn't close my eyes to a proper rest until I did, unveiling the identity of such a creep. 

My lips hit Louis' skin where it was firm but cushioning, baby hairs on my wet lips. I part them a little and breathe him in, all that he could allow me to have. The taste intoxicates my senses and the scent overwhelms my mind.

This angel is a gift from the Gods and I wanted to show the world just how well I could care for another person, keep this particular one under the guard of my wing. My black wing, nonetheless. I can protect him and shelter him, play with him and watch him grow into some forbidden creature too delectable to resist. 

"Oh angel." I cover him up again and close my eyes, the twitching lids held to his tiny chest. "I'll give it all to you."

**_[A/N: 73 Kudos in one night for one chapter. I'm blown away. Wow. I never thought this story would pick up because of its genre. Thank you so, so much! Comments? Opinions? I wanna hear it all. - S xx]_ **


	3. C3

**_[A/N: I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused by recent events. This story won't be taken down again (by me at least). Thank you all for your patience. Louis does not behave like a 9 year old, I know and I did that on purpose for no reason other than it's adorable. Flash-forward is at the end of this chapter and it's dedicated to louisinwonderland bc she's my pickle. - S xx]_ **

_When you see it, you know it was never meant to be someone else's._

Louis gets his ice cream after the doctor's appointment as I drive back to our apartment. The weather is taking a turn for the worst and I'm only satisfied when we're safely parked in our underground garage. 

"Babe?" I unbuckle my seatbelt and glance over my shoulder at the boy who had kicked off his shoes and abandoned his spoon to eat ice cream with his fingers.

"Hazzie?" He looks up with a blue tongue and white melted treat all around his mouth. 

I can't help but chuckle, feeling it bubble out of me freely rather than having to force myself. My Louis grins and it's such a powerful blow to my ribcage, but I stagger back and close the electronic door with an application key before jumping out. 

"Tummy cold, Hazza." He informs me with one of my many nicknames. 

"It's the ice cream, angel." I lock the Jaguar and grab my bag with his, the painkillers and my phone. 

"Can you make it go away, Hazzie?" He wipes his eyes with his tiny balled up palms before he drapes himself over my shoulders. 

"I'll certainly try, babe." I punch in our floor number on the panel of numbers with my knuckle. 

Louis is breathing lightly against my neck as I stand idle in the elevator waiting for the correct number to appear on the screen. I listen to his breaths, their depth and their intake speed. I commit it all to memory so that one day when I'm worthy enough my heart will beat in the same rhythm.

His feet are without shoes and he slowly swings them back or forth, bored as he watches the mirrors around us. "Hazzie, what are those?"

I turn around with him to look at what he's indicating towards. He giggles and shakes his head, pointing at my bag that's opened with all the paperwork inside almost spilling out. 

"That-" I seat him a little higher on my waist and walk out as the doors slide open. "-is my homework."

"Home-work?" He frowns at the dreadful bunch of pages, his button nose twitching. "But you're a Mister, why do you do homework?"

"Because, angel, homework doesn't end in school." Unlocking the apartment door I start to hear the beeping of our alarm system. 

"Can I do it, Hazzie?" He asks when I open the white security keypad beside the light switch. 

"Of course, babe." I hold him a little closer to the rubber numbers. "One. Four. Seven. Nine."

He takes just under the thirty seconds allowed to enter the code to punch it in, each time his finger hovered over a digit he would look at me for approval. I'd nod and he'd press it. The sound of an accepted code is heard in a muted tone like it came from outside and Louis is thrilled. 

"I did it right?" He asks after a brief applause. 

"You did. Well done, babe." I put him down on his own two feet and he takes off like a bullet for the lounge. "Lou!"

He comes right back, standing in front of me with an innocent act of twisting his hands together. His big blue eyes looked up into mine, unable to hear my internal screaming or comprehend my inner battle. 

"Let's go wash up." I hold out my hand and he takes it eagerly, sparking the embers of my heart. 

I lead him to the bathroom in my room, refusing to allow the use of a guest one for Louis. He follows with soft, graceful padding from his suspiciously dirtied socks on our hallway carpet. In my bathroom, I seat him on my lap while I sit on a closed toilet lap. 

"Hazzie?" He asks while I use luke warm water to remove the ice cream moustache with my thumb. 

"Yes?" I start to wipe his mouth and he puts his hands over mine, trying to take over when he looks small enough to drown in the fabric. 

"Can I eat?" He asks with twinkling marble eyes. 

"You may." I help him wash his hands and set him down on the floor. "What do you want to eat?"

"Spaghetti!" He answers spontaneously. 

Well I can't order that from a takeaway restaurant so I'll have to make it. I haven't cooked for anyone besides myself in two years. The pressure was throttling, but it was for my Louis and my angel made everything better.

"Go watch some television." I encourage him now that he's cleaned up. "I'll make spaghetti."

"Yay!" He hugs me around my middle before darting like a little energy ball towards the couches. 

In my frozen state stood with the press of his body still denting my clothing, I watch him sit down before realising he needs the remote and gets up again to fetch it. He sits down again and wiggles - the _sin_ \- to make himself comfortable.

My skin can feel itself becoming overheated with the boiling temperature of my blood. Louis could calm me down, sure, but nothing on this planet could rile me up like he did either. 

Nonetheless, I order my higher brain power to get me moving because Louis was hungry and that just won't do. There's packaged spaghetti in the cabinets with a decent expiry date so I put water to boil and start on a quick bolognaise sauce made from scratch. 

I can hear clearly the cartoon noises from the lounge and smile to myself, almost slicing my thumb open while I daydream about this happening everyday. Louis laughed at some things and giggled when cute skits were showcased. It was adorable. 

The bolognaise was on the stove and I had the spaghetti almost done puffing up with the boiled water it stirred in. I have about ten minutes before anything burned so I decided to join Louis in the living room and his silly cartoons.

"What's this?" I ask, wiping my hands on a dish towel.

Louis had his ankles crossed and his socks discarded, legs folded up as he cuddled a couch cushion. I grab one ankle that my hand can wrap around securely and hear him squeal before sitting up. Those electric eyes meet mine and his hair has miraculously become untidier. 

"Hi Hazzie." He tucks his feet, cold toes and all, under my thigh. 

"What are you watching, angel?" I toe off my shoes and join him in his small cove of warmth. 

"I miss my teddy bear." He says with a sad sigh.

"Oh? Where is he?"

Louis tries to hide from answering the question, almost succeeding when he seeks out something in my waist. His short and dry fingers float towards my hand, examining the size difference with awe. 

"Why are your hands so big, Hazzie?" He asks with his eyes focused on my palm, curling his fingers around my thumb and middle finger. 

"Because I was born that way." I don't manage to pry my attention off how _little_ he is against me, fitting perfectly under my arm. "What about you, babe? Why are you so little?"

Louis shrieks and laughs loudly enough to damage a person's eardrums but he's so precious and sweet, I could make him stop. Especially since I was guilty of tickling him mercilessly.

My fingers felt the bumps of his ribcage and the smoothness of his skin, slight swelling over the bruise. It was purple now and I don't pass up an opportunity to bravely press a kiss to it. I had to take a deep breath and hold it in for fear of never lifting my head if I got a whiff of his sweetness. 

Somewhere along the line I forget about my supposed plan and close my eyes to press my face into his tummy. He still wore his shirt and believed I was on a tickle rampage, but time slowed down and I massaged his sides the way I would if he were only older.

That pudge of his was soft and I could bite down on it with my teeth, suck until I made a bruise of my own. But I couldn't. I won't. I pull myself away suddenly and end up colliding with Louis' nose, which leads to a pained howl and a flow of blood.

"Oh no, angel." I desperately try to ebb the flow of blood with my dish towel, lifting him up into my arms and standing. "Shh. I'm so sorry, Loubear."

He cries and cries with big fat tears rolling down his face. Trying to wipe them away with his hands, he'd touch his reddening nose and cry harder. He wailed and resisted my hand when I tried to touch him. 

"It's alright now, Lou." I say when he at last quits his sobbing and looks at me, glossy-eyed and whimpering. "Does it hurt, angel?"

He makes an 'aha' sound and nods slowly before picking up his patten of crying again. They were choked little whines and I washed his nose with water by the sick, thanking God when it finally stopped. 

"You're a big boy, Loubear." I assure him as I drop the towel and hoist him into a higher, more comfortable spot against my shoulder. 

"Hazzie." His voice is chopped and clogged with unshed tears. 

I squeeze my own eyes shut and rock him slowly to peace, smelling his neck where some tears escaped to. He held onto me around me neck and began to drift off because the pain subsided. 

"You wanna sleep, angel?" I ask when he draws back and our foreheads are aligned, my internal control shattering. 

He nods again, his forehead on mine as he sniffs and I wipe more tears away. 

"Hazzie, kiss it." He instructs me, soft and muffled when he presents the bridge of his nose to me. 

I don't even hesitate before planting three consecutive kisses on the hot skin, feeling the slide of cartilage just beneath. He seems pleased with it and gets one more kiss because _why not?_

"Love you, Hazzie." He grants me the gift of my life by kissing my cheek and placing one foot of mine in the grave.

  
* * * * *  


Harry groans and his whole body slouches with no energy left, collapsing backwards into the sofa he lay on. "Fuck, Lou."

"Don't even pretend, Hazzie." The nearing twenty year old clambered clumsily onto my lap and sat himself down near my over-stimulated c*ck.

"Baby, I'm exhausted." I confess to him, my own body betraying me when he starts to round his hips. _"Shit."_

"I'll do all the work." He promises, biting his lip as he focuses on lowering himself onto my straining hot shaft. 

A high pitched and unforgettable moan rips through him as he bottoms out, digging his nails into my chest like the flesh didn't have feeling. He loved sex so much that he took my breath away whenever he woke me up just by sitting on my dick and working my mouth open with his tongue.

"You're just- _fuck_ \- saying that." My hips jerk and they slam into Louis' pelvic bone, fitting so ideally into the V of his gorgeous legs. 

"Nah uh." He says breathlessly, bouncing very slightly.

My Louis was always like this. He'd start so confident but tire just as quickly, ending me getting us both off because I could never deny him.

"Love you, Hazzie." He leaned forward over my chest and whined in my ear, teeth latching on. "You know that, yeah?"

"Yeah." I reach for the sinful curve of his ass, wanting it in my hands and under my control. 

"Come on, Hazza." He takes my hands and locks our fingers together, keeping them above my head. "Let your baby do the work."

"My baby is a slut." I remind him with a casual grin. "Always wanting my c*ck."

"Of c-course." He starts to breathe faster, more brokenly as he moves his hips onto and away from my length. "I'm your slut, Hazza."

"Good." I growl and bite down on his neck, hearing him whine and adding more pressure. 

"W-Wanna come, Haz." He pulls away and starts frantically fucking himself on me, his tummy - still a pudge - dipping and protruding as he panted. 

"You can come." I thrust my hips up to meet him on the downfall, his hand releasing me to jerk himself off. "I wanna see you come, babe. Open your eyes."

The petname got to him and just as his eyes flew open the unveil the attraction beneath, he gasped loudly and went rigid from his orgasm. He came onto my chest and a little got on my cheek, his body closing in on mine as I pounded up into him. 

One shallow thrust got me to come, squirting inside him and groaning at the rubber restriction of a condom.

"Come 'ere, babe." I open my arms and he falls into them, not pulling off me.

My Louis wiggles as he did years ago and gets himself comfortable, just the head of my sensitive length inside him now. "Hazzie I want a baby."

He punishingly retracts my length from him and turns around to take care of the condom when I could have done it. "I know, babe." 

I smirk when he leans forward and licks the come off my cheek. "Can I have a baby now?"

"Lou." I warn him not to try anything. I'm far too drained from work to go again. 

A small pout forms on his lips as he turns back around, fiddling with God knows what. His bum happens to land very close to my face and his fucked out hole is a tongue's dip distance away. I try grabbing one cheek and slipping my thumb inside, hilt deep until I could move it around.

"Hazza." He held my knees, eyes shut and breaths deep as he tries to get more fingers. "More, Hazza. More."

I sit up with a jovial smirk on display just for him, shoving three fingers into him at one go to feel his insides quiver and body shiver. "That what you want?"

He nods, biting his entire bottom lip and accepting the pumping of my fingers. My Louis' aways been a good boy, turning into a greedy one when he wanted something physical. Now he took my fingers and his swollen rim tried to clench around them, being sore but still hungry.

"Gonna come again, Lou?" I saw his member fatten up, getting close to a climax so soon. "My lovely little boy."

"Slut, Haz." He was a filthy one for dirty talk and first introduced it in the bedroom anyway. "I'm yo-your cockslut."

"Hmm, yes you are." I watch him come a second time all over himself, painting a white picture as he shuddered and released. "Beautiful, angel. I love you so much."

He hummed and spun around carefully, doing the unthinkable when he slowly takes in my limp manhood and grumbled about the pain. It was times like this I wish I had a camera, when he'd take in my length just to have it.

"You're knocking me up tomorrow." He firmly says, arms connected around my neck. "You _will_."

Louis' been baby crazy since we moved in together. He could fall pregnant and carry my babies inside him for nine months, but I was too afraid. What if I did something wrong? What if I let them down?

"But, babe, I just......-" I rub my face with one hand, immediately stressed out again.

"You'll be the perfect daddy, Haz." His lips slide against mine, a small smile tugging on his lips. "You were always good to me."

"Except the time-"

"Oh Haz!" He laughs, kissing my cheek. "You only broke my nose once, you know."

"I didn't break it!"

"I still cried."

"You still cry, babe."

Louis pressed his palms deep into the sofa by my head. His mouth hovered above mine like a reward I had to earn.

"Taste it." He commanded and I immediately licked my lips, getting a free dose of the taste on his lips. "Want it?"

 _Fuck tired._ "Yeah, babe."

He grinned and hopped off me. "Gotta earn it, babe."


	4. C4

**_[A/N: The end bit of the last chapter is not Harry's imagination, it's a glimpse into the far future which will frequent most of chapters. - S xx]_ **

_My center of gravity is him. Without him as air to breathe and light to preserve, I'd never make it to live another day._

"How's your nose, babe?" I ask Louis as he sits on my couch, eating his spaghetti bolognaise without a care outside the pineapple house of Spongebob.

"Better, Hazzie." He politely replies, pointlessly scraping at his empty plate for more food.

"Want more, love?"

He nods and looks away from the LED flat-screen to smile at me, red sauce around his lips. I take his plate that made his hands all the more little, dropping mine in the sink while I refill his with half the proportion. 

The wind is picking up outside and it bothers me that the whistling noise it makes becomes unreasonably loud. Cars hoot below us and people shout, obvious drama about the ground level while I kept my Louis safe up here. He, who was watching a cartoon sponge and a ridiculous pet snail.

When I return to him with a glass of water, he leaps onto my lap before I can properly sit down. "Feed me, Hazzie."

He wriggles torturously until he's comfortable, but I'm afraid my suffering has only begun. After a heavy breath stuck in my lungs for nobody's better good, my hands shake when I have to lift up the fork. I swallow and nearly injure my throat with how harsh it is. 

Louis is so oblivious, his focus back on the television like I'm not combusting beneath and against him. Maybe he's just more comfortable here? I doubt it but I'm not willing to question his motives. The sweet angel deserved everything he could ever want.

I look at his twirling little fingers trying to figure out by the button on his pocket won't let up. "O-Open your mouth, babe."

Without even looking at me he opens his mouth as wide as possible and I place the fork in there so he can take the food. It's a slow process aimed at diminishing what sanity I retained over the decades of living. He finishes the whole plate but isn't hungry for more, while I still am.

"Let's watch an educational channel, angel." I try to convince him. The yapping on the TV is annoying me greatly. 

"No!" He immediately whines.

"Please, Loubear?" I set the plate down on the floor beside me and sacrifice one arm to be wrapped around him. 

He moves to lie down but I don't let him as his food still needs to digest properly. He's hugging a cushion to his baby chest. "No, Hazzie."

"Then-" I pat his leg innocently. "-wanna tell me about school?"

My Louis shakes his head profusely at me, my acknowledgement coming out as a snort and chuckle. 

"And why not?" I have quite the form of entertainment trying to keep him from sleeping across me. He's a restless one.

"Because we had a-an art project." He starts to tell me without really caring, arching his back as he stretched. 

"Yeah?" I encourage him to talk further. "Was it.....fun?"

"No." He messes up his hair as he shakes his head. "I-I dropped paint all over mine."

"Oh. That's alright, angel. Stuff happens."

"But-" He looked at me with the conviction of a passionate prosecutor, effecting shutting me up. "-it's ruined, Hazzie!"

He's deeply saddened after that, with a permanent pout on his face as he avoids me avidly. "Angel, stuff like that happens to all of us."

"You don't _do_ art projects, Hazza." He sasses, eyes on me entirely now. 

"No but I have a job and sometimes I fu- mess that up." 

"Really?" Hearing of my mishaps seem to make him a little more happy with himself.

"Of course." I put my hands under his arms and seat him properly on my lap, away from crotch because _God forbid_. "I break things and sometimes I install a bug rather than an anti-virus."

It's all lies of course because I've never had a track record of mucking things up at my job or during my school years. It made my angel smile and that was plenty worth lying for me.

"Oh." He rounds his lips and they become so much redder, pale skin pulling together around it. "Do you wanna see it?!"

He was suddenly excited by this idea and bolted off my lap to grab his bag from the chair at the door. Dragging the object over with the rustle and clinking of stationery, he hauls it onto the sofa with my help before holding his arms up. I take my cue and lift him up onto my lap, getting a VIP view of how he unpacks his bag.

So transfixed is he by the task at hand that he doesn't notice me staring. At his fine long lashes and chubby but slowly defining cheekbones; his hands so small that they can't hold onto more than one thing so he passes a whole load of junk onto me. His tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on finding a crumpled piece of paper at the bottom of it all.

"Here!" He wiggled, one side at a time, until he was back against the arm rest and my one arm that hoped to escape the torture.

My mind fought back and forth between the image scribbled on this sheet then the feeling a curved back so young and so new fitting against the crook of my arm.

"Do you like it?" He asks and I realise that I've been blankly staring while my mind drifted.

"It's very colourful." I say honestly. There's a rough 'sketch' of whatever Louis was aiming to draw and over his great blue paint spill he attempted to still colour over it.

"Yay!" He renders me speechless when he hugs me with a big toothy smile all for my blessing.

I laugh and hug him back, feeling the need to even if I don't have the capacity to refrain from anything drastic. Such a beautiful boy, very young and vibrant sat haphazardly on my lap with his sloppy drawing held in my fist. 

"Where's my Ma, Hazzie?" He asks, his smile lopsiding into a frown. 

I go stiff for a few moments, a dagger through my heart when I realise what he's asking. He still asks for _her_ and I hate that he does because I basically do everything for him. What's the need for anticipated her arrival? I don't understand and I don't appreciate it.

"I don't know, angel." I avoid looking at him or the drawing. "If you're going to watch anymore TV it will be an educational programme."

"No, Hazzie!" He wails when I grab the remote, reaching for it himself but not being tall enough to grab it. "Ma always lemme watch Spongebob after school!"

"Your mother isn't here and the show is not good for you, babe." I try to explain, getting batted away when I wipe his tears. "Loubear."

"Hazzie, you're mean!" He slides off my lap and takes his school bag, void of any contents.

"Where do you think you're going?" All I have to do is hold onto the top handle of said bag with two fingers, and instantly he can't have it.

He tugs on the item several times and it doesn't budge, well aware that I'm the one to be blamed for his inability to gain control of the situation. My angel gets red in the face as he attempts one last effort before giving up. By then he utterly surprises me, eyes watering up and nose twitching.

"Hate Mister Harry!" He proclaims, listening to my heart and hollow soul shatter while he stomps off to God knows where in the apartment.

I sit back on the couch with a heavy sigh and rub over my face with both hands, feeling tiredness settling in with straining eyes and a building headache. Groaning and wanting to scream to let out all the frustrating pent up emotions, I fall face first into the cushion Louis cuddled wanting to cry.

Lying there for who knows how long I come to regret my choice of words spoken to Louis. _My angel Lou._ I was such a bastard to him. He can watch anything he wants whenever he wants.

Standing up with a new agenda, I go in search of my little wonder through the apartment. I go down the hall to my room first since that's the only room he's been in and indeed finding lying on my bed - I don't think about how he got up there - almost asleep on top of the covers.

My lovely boy was just tired and I didn't make his crabbiness any better. 

Carefully and stealthily I make my way over to the side he's closest to, bending my back to lower myself. The soft and supple nature of his skin remains pasted on my dry lips after I kiss his temple. 

I hope for his forgiveness more than I hope for the sun to rise tomorrow.

"Angel?" I whisper in his ear, so small that the lobe didn't cover the pad of my thumb entirely yet.

My Lou stirs and rolls onto his back, rubbing at his nose cutely with his fist. His eyes pop open when he sees me. "I'm sorry, Hazzie."

"What for?" I ask when setting his fringe back in place, grazing the skin of his forehead more than necessary.

"I was mean to you, Hazzie." He reaches out for my hand but can only hold onto my two fingers. 

"No you weren't." I shake my head to convince him, punched in the gut to hear this. "No you weren't, babe."

"I'll watch clever shows with you later, Hazzie." He brings my fingers to his chest and peers up at me hoping his convincing nature is good enough.

"I know. It's okay, babe." I brush his hair back as I chuckle, sitting on the edge of the bed to dry what remains of his fussy tantrum. "Were you sleepy?"

"Yeah." He rubs his eye again, using his other baby-sized fist to do the job. "Sleepy."

"Well you can sleep here then." I muse, drawing back the covers that were obviously too much for him to handle. 

"Are you gonna tuck me in, Hazza?" He doesn't look at my face when asking, setting his head comfortably on the pillow instead.

I smirk down at him. "Sure thing, babe."

It's a marvellous experience from head to foot - literally - during the time I spend ensuring the comforter is tucked a little bit under his weight. His arms slip out from under the sheath and he beams up at me like the _motherfucking sun_ and I can't breathe for the duration of him, my hands fighting not to shake.

He knows not of the effect he has on me, but the rest of me is well aware. Under his arms and against his hips, his thighs that will one day become the most delectable a mortal man can set eyes on. They're all on this Earth to torture me, to remain out of my reach until the perfect time. I left my fingers lingering beneath his feet for a while longer, longing in to bury myself in a body so much smaller than my own.

"Hazzie?" He calls for my attention once again and my head snaps in his direction at once. 

I'm obedient when it comes to my Louis, although I'll rarely ever admit it out loud. I'm in slave in some sick way and completely pleased with being so.

"Yeah, babe?" I pat his paired feet. They're now covered properly and there's no reason for me to be holding them. 

"I want my teddy bear." He tells me, his smile fading a smidgen at the corners.

"Is it in your bag?" I ask, my hands still around his ankles. I can't pull away as a ship can't leave an anchor without forfeiting its right to dock ever again.

"No." He says quietly to himself, eyes downcast.

"Where is it then, Lou?"

He hesitates for a moment, long enough for the jiggling of keys outside our apartment to alert me of my father's return. The female voice that follows close behind says that Jennifer's with him.

"With Papa." He answers, voice masked and softened by the comforter pulled over his face.

Of course. There was the question of my Louis' father who was probably some rich asshole who Jennifer preyed on before my oblivious father. As I understood it however, Jennifer had sole custody because his father didn't want him.

"Hey there, angel." I hook my fingers around the covering and peel it away from the flawless features of his face. "Do you want me to get it from him?"

Louis' amazement gets his eyes wider and more awed. My commitment to him is whole, _complete_ and absolute. He'll learn to not be so surprised in the future.

"From _Papa_?" He elongates the term for his parent, fully revealing up to his neck to me.

"That is where your teddy bear is, yes?" I fold the end of the bedsheet into a neat curve. 

"I-I-" He chews his lip as he thinks of what to say. "His name is Archie."

"Archie is your teddy bear?"

He nods vigorously, blushing at the name of his childhood toy. "He's small and-and white."

Leaning over a great degree, Louis' expression of admirable awe doesn't falter when we're nearly nose-to-nose. "Small like my Lou or bigger?"

His gasp is widely audible as he giggles and feels better after our little debacle. "Smaller than me!"

"Really? I find that hard to believe." I chortle in a teasing manner, curling my fingers around his hold hand when he threatens to commit a sin like let go of me.

"Hazzie!" He laughs with a sparkle in his eye, rolling over and curling up into a ball under the covers. 

The shapely lump of him under my covers remains there while the other two adults go about their investigation of the scattered clothing Louis left in our living room. I'll clean it up later. 

"You're my little Louis, angel. Come on. Let me see your face." I start fumbling with the sheets, hysterical laughter leaving my mini companion as he moved away from me.

When he reappeared it was from almost entirely under my crowd of pillows, his legs brought up to his chest and a broad smile denting his cheeks. I tickle his ankles with slight scratching from my fingers and drag him out of hiding.

"Do you want your teddy bear now, babe?" I sober up my approach when I ask him this, looking directly at him. "Or can you want until tomorrow?"

"If-If you fetch me from school, you can bring Archie with." He proposes, once again overtaken by shyness because he probably understands what he's asking me to do.

"Sure thing, babe. Now-" I stand up and take my sweet time ensuring that he's properly covered once again. "-it's time for you, little Lou, to have a nap."

"Kiss?" He requests politely. 

I want to fall to my knees for this boy. "Where, babe?"

He points to his forehead with the speed of a lightning bolt before hiding again, and I press a tender kiss to that exact spot to make him happy. "I hope you dream of things that are as beautiful as you are, angel."

  
* * * * *  


"Angel?" I walk through the front door to our apartment we call home, my eyes adjusting to the dimly lit doorway.

"In here!" He responds from somewhere to my left. 

This apartment isn't grand or spacious like those in interior design and architecture magazines, as it was elegant and homey all because of Louis' touch. He's been living here with me since he started his pre-med course studying to be a nurse and was away from any other place with people who knew him.

I follow the soft echo of his voice and find him in the lounge flipping through channels and setting reminders. It's Friday so it was binge night for us, commencing the second I finished having my shower.

"Hey, babe." I hold onto the back of the couch, leaning over it as Louis bent backward to connect our lips. "How was your day?"

"Had a field trip today." 

He mutes the television as I drop my bag at my work station. We had two desks side-by-side and matching with some distance between them for when we did any kind of written responsibility. It was Louis' idea not to have the guest bedroom converted and just leave it as it was.

"Yeah?" I fill a mug with red wine from the fridge - I don't feel safe enough taking one of our glasses out. "Tell me about it."

"We got to watch people in the field for a bit." He shares his quilt with me when I come around the side of the couch to join him. "It was amazing. Nurses are just as important as doctors, you know."

"You don't have to convince me, babe." I rest my head on the pillow-like nature of his folded thighs, sighing as they become the best possible sensation of cloud softness.

"How was work then?" He passes his fingers through my hair, straightening out the longest locks over his leg. "You told me about that big thing today."

I chuckle and take a sip of my wine, planting a kiss on Louis' leg where it's bare at his thigh. My lips leave a wet patch on his skin. Of course my Louis would call it 'that big thing' rather than recite all that I told him about my meeting with kings of the software world.

"It was successful." I tell him, feeling the alcohol soothe the worst of my frayed nerves. "Got a fuckin' discount from the two toughest men who ever lived on top of the negotiation I had planned."

"Really? I'm so proud of you, Hazzie!" He dismisses my mug of wine to bring himself down to my level. 

I have to move to accommodate him but it's worth it. Resting on my chest with folded arms across my torso, Louis bends his knees with so his socks are in the air. He kisses me and I trap him against me with my arms.

"I was thinking about you today." He says when he pulls away, easily unaffected by me kneading his bum. "You were so stressed this morning at breakfast."

"I know, babe. They were tough clients so I had a reason to be as paranoid as I was." 

Louis smiles so that warmth blossoms and spreads through my chest. Bringing himself forward, he presses our lips together thrice consecutively and grins when I do. His hands are openly sliding down my body and I loosen my arms to let him, risking our lives when I flip us over suddenly.

"Did you miss me today?" I ask him, sly in my intent when I kneel between his parted thighs. 

"You know I did." The look he gives me is so much ablaze, drawing himself up on his elbows to kiss my lower abdomen. "We should celebrate your victory of today."

"Fuck." I mutter when he starts trailing kisses in an uneven path up my front to my chest, holding onto my waist and biting my right nipple when he gets there. "Yeah we should."

It was tough making love on a couch with Louis' favourite show on because my angel was a miracle when it came to easy distractions. He had to be blocked from it visually or fucked a little harder to get his focus back on me sometimes, when he'd choke and scream at the ceiling in my name. I could completely cover his body with mine and lift him up, thrust where I wanted, and bite however hard I wanted to.

"You're so sweet, angel." I pull out and replace myself with a plug that's the biggest Louis could find.

"You too, Hazzie."

He sighs contentedly when it pops in place, arching his back for a moment to get comfortable. I wipe him up with tissues from the coffee table, hearing him giggle when I uncovered a ticklish spot near his hips or thighs. He was always so mellow and boneless after sex, while I felt like I could run a marathon.

"Want some?" I offer him some of the wine I had left, both of us still in the nude and he unmuted the television for NCIS.

Being the adorable but lazy lover he is, he dumps his feet on my lap and slowly works his way onto my lap. "Feed me, Hazzie."

"Considering this is wine, babe, I'll have to do something else." I know he isn't listening by the look on his face, enthralled and not by me.

I pour the red liquid, favoured drink to legends' Gods, into my mouth with enough for one sip. Curling my hand around Louis' throat, I force him to look at me before kissing him and letting the wine fall onto his tongue from mine. He moans from this new technique and I've successfully defeated his interest in any TV show as he organises himself to straddle my naked lap and deepens the kiss for more parchment.

"I like this method." He pulls away to breathlessly say, eyes reflecting the fairy lights he hung up on our ceiling. "I really do."

"Good because-" I drop him onto his back and grin cheekily when he mumbles a complaint from friction inside him. "-you'll never see a cup for the rest of your life."

"I hope your talk isn't cheap." He wraps his arms around my neck and plays my hair. 

We make-out like teenagers on the couch in that position, his legs fallen open on either side of my hips. He sometimes smiles too broadly and I end up kissing his teeth but his resultant giggles make it all better. 

"Hazzie?" He's unable to stop grinning once my lips are at his pudge again, worshipping it's roundness.

"Yeah, babe?" I suck on the skin that's damp and tastes of him, of _me_ on him.

"Remember that field trip I told you about?" He is confusing me with all the syllables coming out of his mouth.

Sitting up on the opposite end of the couch, his legs are splayed between and over mine in a huge tangle. "Yeah?"

"I lied." He's got a mischievous little smile happening. 

"Okay." I frown, my libido's mood dying. 

"I did go to the hospital though." His cold ankles nudge my calf, my eyes meeting his again. "I'm pregnant."

**_[A/N: Smol. - S xx]_ **


	5. C5

**_[A/N: Woop woop. I got nothing to say so let's make conversation. How are you guys? Okay so the flash-forward at the end of this chapter is a little earlier than the previous two, so before the baby and err'thing. - S xx]_ **

_You have no idea how fast my heart beats when I see you._

"Where's Louis?" My father asks me when I come out of my room - locking the door to keep anyone from going in - to gather up my Louis' things and tidy up. 

"Sleeping. He ate already." I inform him and the woman who automatically went towards the kitchen with packets of take-out. 

I remember that I haven't eaten yet myself whilst I was busy ensuring Louis had all that he needed. There was enough bolognaise left over for a decent meal on my part, before I get to working on my new software project for the office.

"Really?" Comes my babe's mother asking me while she unpacked the packets in her dressy clothing.

Nodding slowly, I ensure this conversation is at a thorough dead-end before going to the kitchen to pack up on a plate what I can take with me to my room.

"Where's he sleeping?" Jennifer asks me, obviously eyeing the Marvel bag on my shoulder she knew well enough.

"My room." I answer her brusquely, jabbing the buttons on our Samsung microwave a little too harshly.

She doesn't question me any further on the topic, retreating to the lounge with a bottle of wine and my old man. The microwave can't move any faster for me. Once I've gotten the warmed plate with food out, I take it with me with a dish towel supporting it so it doesn't burn my open skin. 

Juggling that and opening my door is a risky thing because the spaghetti slips to the very edge of the maroon porcelain plate, threatening to slip down and cause me more grief than I can handle today. However, once I've stepped into my room that's dark but dimly lit by faint fairy lights that's in every room, my smile grows when I see a sudden swish of movement on the bed.

"Babe?" I chuckle, setting my plate down with my phone and go to the side of my bed.

He pretends to be asleep and it's _precious_ how he holds his breath and drops his head lazily onto the pillow. I place my hand on his narrow chest and brush my thumb over his school clothing, encouraging him to wake up because he's been caught.

Those blue, blue eyes flicker to life and serve as a pure light in this dull room. He hides his face and giggles non-stop when I try seeking him out, playing along briefly as he laughs and kicks his short legs.

"What are you up to, angel?" I teasingly mention, hauling him out from under the heavy sheets and onto my lap.

"Can't sleep, Hazzie." He says, stuffy nose as he holds onto my arm that's barricading him in.

"And why not?" I give him a comforting squeeze, kissing his head and watching him test his hand size against mine.

To have him against me like this, so innocently and without the complications of a difficult obligation, I can close my eyes and take no physical advantage whilst being the happiest I've ever been. My Louis is continually hitting my hand with his, reddening my skin under his harmless palm.

"Not comfy." He says, awake and distracted already as he looks up at the small lights scattered on my ceiling. "It's so pretty, Hazzie."

"Thank you, babe." I smile broadly, genuinely thrilled to have received a compliment from my Loubear. 

"Hazzie, can I have better clothes?" He picks at his current clothing with his fingers, pinching the fabric like it personally offended him. 

"Of course you can." I kiss him on his cheek one last time, sliding him off my lap - the extraction of body warmth is enough to make me grieve - to go into my closet. 

"Hazzie!" He hops down from the bed when I'm flipping the light on in the walk-in closet, his bare feet padding quickly as he rushes to my side. He takes my hand. "Wanna come too."

I squeeze his hand and let him accompany me to my destination, unable to get in full breaths of air when I think about him having to change his clothes. It's going to be a true test of a man's willpower and for someone as weak as I am, I doubt a full recovery is possible. 

He picks out an old college hoodie that was _massive_ on him and had a large red wine stain down the side. He's adamant when I suggest something newer and more comfortable, shaking his head and flicking his hair when I won't stop rambling.

"You sure, angel?" I kneel down at his level, meeting his eyes with my naked ones. 

"Yes, Hazzie." He holds onto the grey sleeve. "Want this."

"Okay then." 

I stand up and flip the light off, making a much easier atmosphere for him to get _undressed_ in. Jesus, take me away from this world so I don't do something utterly foolish like grab him and never let him go. Such a devastatingly beautiful little boy stood in front of me fumbling, my eyes unable to do more than memorise every inch of what's exposed to me.

Curves so delicate and skin so soft. Eyes so twinkly with tiny flashes of light reaching them. His small hands struggle to peek out at the end of my sweatshirt's sleeves. His legs are covered right to his little ankles, making me swallow and wish I really had no voice because it's certainly a hungry croak now.

"Ready, Hazzie." He walks up to him when the wind gets stronger outside, or was it the blood pounding in my head?

I imagined many elicit activities with this little one but he's my _precious angel_ and how could I ever take from him what only he could offer me? I'd rather gut myself. He holds both his arms up, extended towards me so I can bend and pick him up. 

"Don't wanna sleep." He resists when I seat him on my arm, his firm behind tucked safely against me. 

"N-No?" I hurry to speak, not wanting to worry him with my inability to function properly.

"No." He pouts, making clear indications that he'd rather be at my desk.

"I have work to do, babe." I tell him, not making a move towards either the bed or table.

He yawns and wiggles his toes against my abdomen, tickling my torso to get me to agree. "I won't trouble, Hazzie."

"I know you won't, babe." I settle for sacrificing my sleep and peaceful working conditions to hold him with me. "You're a little angel, Loubear."

_My angel._

"Hazzie!" He gasps, wide and cerulean eyes focused on me with such depth for a nine year old. "You said I was a big boy."

"Sorry, babe. Forgot." I laugh under my breath, tucking more caramel hair being his small red ear. "Now if you're going to stay awake with me you have to promise me something."

He immediately nods, aware that he's won the battle and eager to obey whatever order I give to him. "Yes, Hazza."

I gulp. "You can't touch my papers, okay? They're important for work."

Utilising my spare chair - the more comfortable leather one - for him, I seat him on it with a cushion under his bum so he doesn't have to crane to see over the table. He puts both hands on the table and peers curiously at everything, pretending to play the piano with his slender fingers.

It's such a mesmerising sight that on my return trip from getting my bag, I almost stop and stare all night. He looks at the pens in my pen holder and frowns at the diagrams on modules I have, not touching anything more than is necessary to see more.

"Here, babe." I take out a blank writing pad from my satchel and give it to him with a pencil. "Draw something for me."

His eyes sparkle, excited by the invitation to go crazy with a seventy-two page examination pad. I'd give him every page from under every person's hand if it made his eyes sparkle this way.

"What should I draw, Hazzie?" His little pink sticks out of the corner of his mouth as he opens to a new page with difficulty. 

I chew my thumb waiting for the ugly sign of a paper cut. Nothing happens and I breathe a sigh of relief. "Absolutely anything you want, angel."

"Can I draw you?" He asks, tapping the eraser of the pencil on his thigh. "With-With big legs and fluffy hair?"

After my laughter subsides, cracking up all of a sudden without being able to restrain it. "Long, babe. Long legs."

"Long." He sticks his tongue out at me, my heart slowing to a heavy thumping beat. 

He finally turns to his project while I flip through the booklets in at least seven different languages, hunched over my table as I studied them. The sound of his pencil scratching paper was soothing, his task of switching to an eraser as well. I eat my supper with my left hand, never taking my eyes off the pages I'm reading so I don't lose my place.

Every so often after a paragraph of two I'd look over at him without turning my head, and peek at his drawing. I was indeed all sticks and narrow tubes from his artistic point of view. Containing my amusement, I chew my lip and set my plate down on the floor. 

When I'm between modules, using my glasses to keep track between two books, Louis taps my elbow with his pencil. He wiggles in his seat, sitting back against the leather and crossing his legs so easily.

"Yeah, babe?" I put a ruler on the line I was reading, putting my glasses on my head and rubbing my tired eyes.

"C-Can you sharpen this, Hazza?" He holds up his pencil, worked down to the graphite nub by all his efforts.

"Course." I take it from him and put it down on the table, handing him a clutch pencil from the tray of stationery.

"Want pencil, Hazzie." He examines the new object, not too happy with it by his scrutinising stare. 

"It is a pencil." I press down the rubber and reveal the 0.7 lead, watching him dot something on his page as he tests it out.

"Don't look, Hazzie!" He covers the drawing with _both_ arms, concealing what he was working so hard on. 

"Sorry, angel." I have to kiss his forehead to apologise. What kind of devoted man would I be if I didn't?

My Louis is pleased with the new type of pencil and continues to draw with it, sitting right beside me so I can observe all that he does. I bet it looks so domestic from the outside, watching us work besides one another so well. Louis' elbow bumped mine and I would always move away so he can have more space.

He's slowly falling asleep as he worked, his head on my bicep as he rested but continued drawing. He'd get intrigued by some new part of the drawing that actually gave him energy to sit up, and tucked his feet in under him to be taller.

My work was done and I managed to browse through enough details to have decent background research done on what I'll be dealing with tomorrow. The task of installing and assessing wouldn't be easy and could last the whole day considering how heavy our servers are, but it gave me a salary and I didn't hate my job.

Louis loved when the lead in his - my - pencil ran out and he got to click the button at the top, applying a careful amount of pressure to the top as I watched him in adoring admiration. He concentrated solely on that navy blue pencil, not wanting to break it but wanting to never stop using it probably.

Unfortunately his efforts are spoiled when a whole strip of lead fell out of the tip and into my space of work. He giggled and I pinched my own thigh to keep from scooping him up. 

"Oops." His thumb and index try to lift the thin black strip from the page of my workbook.

I bump his forehead with my nose and kiss the spot that leans back on me. "Hi, angel."

"Hazzie. Help me please." He sniffs, furiously rubbing his red nose to ease some irritation there.

Using my thumb nail I lift up the lead and take the pencil from him to re-insert it. He watches in awe, my smirk undying because something so trivial could be so fascinating to my Louis. God did I want this boy to be all mine all the time.

"Hazzie, can I use the-the pencil?" He asks politely, twisting the item between his hands.

"Now?" I look at the watch on my wrist. 20h16. "It's a bit late for both of us, babe."

"Not-Not _now_." He tends to become a little stutter-y when he's shy but wanting something.

"Then when, angel?" I push his hair back with just my fingertips, gently grazing his scalp and watching him smile tiredly.

"School." He yawns like a kitten, covering it up with his sleeves. "Nobody has pen-pencils like _that_."

Giving in easily enough, I nod and blink away another yawn. The thought of making my Louis happy by helping him have a social standing even this early bring butterflies to my stomach. 

As if on cue someone comes knocking on my door and it isn't my father because these knocks don't stop after three. I sigh and Louis goes back to finishing his drawing, letting me wake up to answer the door. Jennifer is on the other side, holding an overnight back with a Superman logo at the bottom.

"Ma!" Louis pushes his chair back and jumps down to run up to her, barely making it without stumbling in his overflowing clothing.

"Hey, Lou-Lou." She drops the bag and picks him up when he runs into her legs. "How was school, love? I haven't seen you _all day_?"

I don't know if it's a dig at me but I narrow my glare just for her and become agitated when she's not putting my Louis down. I clench my left fist behind the door and scratch the white paint with my nails, struggling to handle myself so non-commitally. 

"Hazzie gave me a pencil and he fetched me from school." He beams at me, showing off his gift to his mother.

"It's really cool, bub." She plays along. "Did you say thank you?"

Louis turns bright red and hides in the shoulder of her work blouse. I want to melt to a slow death because he's so sweet and lovely. He never has to thank me or apologise for anything.

"I was gonna!" He argues, swinging his legs again restlessly. "Ma why is my bag here?"

"Because, dumpling, you and I will be staying here for the week." She pinches his cheek and makes him try avoiding the treatment. My blood could boil as my scraping behind the door gets a little more severe. "Remember those bugs we found in the attic?"

My Louis immediately scrunches up his nose in disgust. "Roaches."

"Exactly." She bops him on the nose, and his cheeks inflate for a reaction. "So while the exterminators get them out, we'll be staying here."

"Yay!" Louis cheers, shocking my dead heart into rapidly sprinting for the finish line where he stood with a big smile. "Can I stay with Hazzie, Ma?"

"Sure." Jennifer looks to me for my - _blatant_ \- consent. "You have to behave, okay? We're guests here."

"I know, Ma." He says, the sass becoming real as he is lowered back to the ground and pounces on his bag of belongings. 

Things become splayed out and tossed out of the bag at once, Louis' mission being to find something buried deep within the Superman gym bad. He fidgets with the stubborn zipper and huffs irritably, tired from a long day but not wanting to go to bed yet.

"You sure you don't mind?" Jennifer calls my attention back to her, my eyes slowly and reluctantly returning to her all natural face. 

I shake my head and from below where my Louis crouched, am offered an Eeyore stuffie from Winnie The Pooh. "Hold 'im, Hazzie! He's my second favourite."

Jennifer watches with fond eyes - a show or not, I cannot tell clearly - before bidding us both goodnight and leaving.

And so I find myself standing in the hallway that only housed my bedroom - my father's going down a passageway on the opposite side of the apartment - watching my Louis dig through his belongings and extract all the stuffies he loves so very much. They're all planted in my arms where they're safe from a fatal tumble, before my angel throws all his clothes back into the bag and drags it behind him - on wheels - into my room.

"Can they stay on the bed with us, Hazzie?" Louis has his infamous baby eyes out in full force, holding onto my shirt hem and pleading silently.

"Anything you want, babe." I promise him, a vow for the future present in my statement. I couldn't wait for him to finally, one day, understand how gone I am for him.

Louis stands right next to me while I organise the teddy bears on my bed. Temporarily, the bed is _ours_ and nobody can take that glory away from me. 

"Eeyore is in the middle, Hazzie." He corrects my placing the grey donkey next to Mr. Incredible. 

"Alright well-" I stand up straight after the task is done. "-bath time, Loubear."

"No." He whines, his failed attempt at escaping coming into play when he is caught and air-lifted by me, shrieking with laughter as he clearly loves being carried. "No, Hazzie! Don't wanna."

"Well, babe, we have to." I carry him, squirming and trying to push himself free, into my bathroom. "Lou, behave."

He stops once he realises he's gone too far with the shoving and mumbles a sweet apology. I flip on the bathroom light and set him down on the ground.

"Can you bath yourself, babe?" I ask him as I kneel to be at his level, sitting back on my haunches to be even lower.

It takes a moment for him to think about it but he nods and smiles, all his teeth perfect except for a small crooked one at the corner. I stand back up and start to fill the tub just enough to handle his size. 

"You must call me when you're done, okay?" I emphasise, stopping him from removing any clothing while I'm still present for fear of a heart attack on my part.

"Yes, Hazzie." He replies obediently, testing the water like a mini adult with his finger. 

I exit the bathroom, my own bathroom, in a hurry and leave the door just cracked open so I can hear if anything goes wrong. The taps are closed and I hear him getting in the water, sinking to the ground when my legs give out and groaning as I covered my face.

As much as I tried, peeling my skin off inside to not think of him _having a bath_ the images came to haunt me nonetheless. I sit pitifully on the ground with my pants tighter than they should be and my palm resting over it, offering no relief.

My little Loubear with marble eyes and a toothy grin to contend with the smiles of Gods. He's my every dream put together and born a decade after me, like the universe is punishing me. I shouldn't have him and I must watch him learn to grow through the stages as I did ages ago, while suffering in silence.

"Hazzie?" He calls from within the bathroom, sounding like an echo as he splashes some water about.

I find no guilt in imagining him like that, having no rubber ducks so making the sponge I gave him float because he's that kind of angel. My back hurts where I press it against a wall, grinding my skin on the rough surface as I palm myself through my jeans.

"Y-Yeah, babe?" I crave the voice he has, so sugary and going to rot every part of me. I can become his slave if he just asked.

"Hazzie, can I use the-" A major water sloshing moment occurs here and I groan in my throat. "-purple stuff?"

Purple? My mind can't think back to anything that's in the bathroom besides that gorgeous boy. I imagine it must be a body gel with an attractive image on the bottle. 

"You c-can." I bite my lip at the happy sound he makes, pouring my heart out onto the floor.

A cap flips open and I unzip myself, wrapping a hand securely around my very noticeable inflated member. My pumping motions are sloppy and my hips start to jerk with it, trying to get off but the daunting reminder that I'm not actually _with_ my Louis making it that much harder.

"Fuck." I mutter to my demons and I, hitting my head on the wall and pulling myself to an orgasm quickly.

There's no disgrace and no shame. I don't feel it because I refuse to. Why should I be afraid if I'm never going to force myself on Louis? He'll never be hurt by me and as long as I kept our distance in this regard, all will be fine.

"Done, Hazzie!" He calls to me from the other side of the wall, ignorant of my body in ruins just outside his door.

"Coming, babe." I say breathlessly, in a new hurry to get myself looking presentable.

It's a miserable attempt because I've messed my pants and shirts with white splatters, so with tissues I urgently wipe as much off as I can. Nothing more can he helped and I nervously step into the bathroom with a giant towel that will prevent my from seeing any more of him than I can handle.

"You okay, Hazzie?" He's in my arms, swathed in a fluffy white towel up until his neck.

Against my chest I feel his heart beat with a weaker rhythm, not having lived through the stresses of life and handled the horror. He holds onto me like I'm not a destroyed mortal but he is an angel who gives people second chances, his legs hanging down my front where I hold him to me protectively. His rounded bum sat on my forearm, his head on my shoulder.

"Can you dry yourself, babe?" I ask after setting him down on the bed, making him giggle hysterically when I'm pulled down to his level instead of just letting go and not trying to _end me._

"Yeah, Hazzie." He releases me when I never want to be abandoned in such a way, rolling over and I turn away so fast I'm fearing a case of whiplash.

My breathing accelerates along with the pulse in my veins, thinking of work or Taylor or _anything_ so I don't focus on the naked boy on my bed. He will be my death and I'll die happy even if every other aspect in my life is left unresolved.

"Hazzie!" He probably notices how useless I'm being at the moment. "Can you gimme my sleepy clothes please?"

"Sure, b-babe." I get to his bag at the side of my desk, kneeling on one leg to unzip it and hunt for any sign of 'sleepy clothes'.

After locating a set of appropriate clothing, I grab it along with a set of underwear for him. His clothes are so _small_ and _precious_ , none longer than my arm. They're all so soft and smell of him, vanilla and all that is worth loving in this world.

"Here, angel." I hand them over, looking at the bunches of sheets on my bed and only getting a peripheral image of his long stretch of skin. Pale, beautiful skin.

"Thanks, Hazzie." He takes them and I wander aimlessly in my closet until he's done getting dressed. I thank the God that took the time to have mercy on me when he doesn't call for anything.

Although, now that he's done getting dressed he is standing by my desk neatly putting some finishing touches on his masterpiece from earlier. I've found fresh sleep wear for myself and dump them on the bed, picking up his wet towel and going over to him.

"You have school tomorrow. Don't you, babe?" I remind him softly, picking him up by his hips - I'll never repent for the sin of touching him there every chance I get - and wanting to drown in his giggle.

"Look, Hazzie." He snatches up the page when he's lifted onto my hip, showing the no longer plain white sheet to me. "For you."

It's untidily ripped at the top where he tried to remove it from the examination pad, but I could appreciate art like this for the rest of my life. There's a figure on it with a massive head exaggerate the 'fluffy' hair on my head, my stick-thin mid section and eventually my legs that went on for all of twelve centimetres. My limbs can't be _this_ disproportionate to the rest of my body. Can it?

"Looks just like me." I comment to his amusement, eyes crinkling like a drug to my heart and covering his smile. He obviously doesn't want to say that it's me. "Is it me, babe?"

He shakes his head and starts to slip off my body, so I strain my arms a bit more to keep him hoisted. "Wanna sleep now, Hazzie."

I'm powerless against my kisses on his cheeks and forehead. I carry him towards the bed and lay him down under the covers, ensuring that he's tucked in like I did earlier. He holds Eeyore in both his hands and turns on his side, turning back quickly to peck my jaw and go back.

"G-Good night, babe." I stand paralysed and leaning until my body is ready to cooperate and get going.

My shower is quick and I spend time cleaning the bathroom of Louis' products, neatly lining them up with mine. He didn't even make a mess, being the sweetheart that he is. I switch off the bathroom light and lower the force on the AC, darkening the room completely and closing the curtains.

I climb into bed at something past nine, putting my phone to charge at my desk. My Louis is fast asleep by the time I join him, turning on my side with two dozen stuffies between us to watch him sleep until I eventually do as well.

Morning came at six for me after a decent amount of sleep. I find Louis pressed up under my arm and fitted against my side, his head tucked comfortably on my shoulder. It's not too early for me to experience heart palpitations and I stare at him, sleeping with his rosy thin lips parted. Grasping the moment with both hands, I wrap the arm he's lying on around him and close my eyes for a moment more.

_School._

"Fuck." I remember being up at seven to go everyday to Montessori so I suppose that's when he needs to awaken as well.

The rest of the apartment is asleep still and that's just perfect. I think about how drastically my life has changed in the span of two days. Is something like this possible? Before my Louis I had nothing but work and my father to every have on my mind if need be, but now my whole world means _LouisLouisLouis_.

I come out of the shower at half seven and go straight into my wardrobe room, taking Louis' bag with me to drop in there. Picking out another simple but not so simply designed silk shirt with uneven triangles on it and jeans, I also find Louis' school clothes to get ready.

At 07h45 I take three deep breaths and sit beside him on the bed, touching his arm where it swung out over my pillow. "Hey, angel."

He doesn't stir. 

"Loubear?" I bend down to his level, whispering in his ear and playing with his fingers on my jean clad thigh. "You need to wake up now, babe."

Louis finds himself shifting towards me and rubbing his eyes to remove the sleepiness. He gets onto his back with some help from me and smiles lazily up at my own smile.

"Ready to get up?" I catch him holding onto my fingers, keeping them on his chest where it could fan out and cover the surface area.

In the morning he looks so freshly woken and a little extra soft because of the tenderness of a child's slumber. 

"Okay." He licks his lips and doesn't let go of my middle finger yet. 

"Do you shower in the mornings?" I ask, not entirely sure whether he knows how to shower yet.

He nods with another yawn that blows minty breath in my face, making me part my lips and taste him. 

I'm caught up in the kitchen making breakfast for myself while our housekeeper takes careful instructions from Jennifer on how to do their laundry. I stand against the refrigerator with an amused little smirk because _of course_ she'd be doing that.

The housekeeper and I share a knowing look after that in-depth conversation, mine amused and hers burdened.

"Was Louis okay last night?" Jennifer takes egg from the frying pan onto her plate, popping toast in the toaster.

I nod curtly and pray that this is over. It comes my way when it is and she goes to her phone - it's a new iPhone that I don't remember her having two nights ago. Louis comes out of my room after he's bathed and changed into school clothes, skipping over to his mother for them to hug.

"Morning, dumpling." She hugs him without picking him up. My jaw screws a little tighter.

"Morning, Ma." His accent is very prominent at this hour when he's still drowsy but not greatly so. 

Next he comes to me, squeezing his way past our housekeeper and an opened cabinet. I set my bowl of Cheerios on the counter and hoist him without difficulty onto my hip, letting him rest his head on my shoulder.

"Ready for school?" I ask, refraining from any petnames in front of other people.

"Yes, Hazzie." He gets fed a spoonful of cereal from my bowl, his mouth being too small and milk dripping down his chin.

Such a tragedy is easily recovered when I wipe up the spillage with a clean hand towel. My father arrives in the kitchen and sees my interaction with Louis but wisely says nothing about it. We do have one practice in place, and that is we give each other coffee. 

He fills two mugs and hands me one without a word other than a polite greeting that is returned by me. Our relationship is an ideal one.

"He's got to be in school in twenty minutes." Jennifer packs up her handbag while my father fetches his briefcase. "Will you take him or-"

"I'll take him." I cut across with an easy answer, then curse myself because I need to explain. "It's on my route to fetch something."

Jennifer isn't even apprehensive at my response. She nods and gives Louis a kiss on his cheek that makes him fuss because he's busy eating my cereal. I wait for them to leave and finish my mug of black coffee in one go, the liquid now warm and not boiling not.

"Is your bag packed?" I ask, following him to my room to get our belongings.

"It will be!" He runs off towards my desk and grabs his small bag to pack with what he requires. 

My heart soars when he takes out a green pencil case and puts the clutch pencil I gave him last night into it carefully, dropping it into his bag with the examination pad as well. 

"Hazzie!" He comes up to me with the page from last night. "Don't forget this."

It's his drawing of me and I would never forget that perfect art piece. I smile gratefully and slide between two books to keep it in mint condition. 

Montessori serves food to their student body at every grade level but I still get out my old lunch bag to pack what little snacks could be necessary. 

"Here, babe." I hand him the blue bag and he grins appreciatively up at him upon seeing it.

"Thank you, Hazzie." He holds up his gaping bag for me to put it inside. 

"You're welcome, angel." I grab my keys and wallet, my bag on my shoulder and Louis holding my hand as we leave in a hurry.

  
* * * * *  


***LOUIS' POV***

I haven't seen my Harry in five years. Five painful, black and empty years spent in mourning. I failed two classes in high school and when I turned seventeen, I asked my mother to get me him for the party. Just surprise me by bringing him here and rendering my first smile in three years. 

It's been two years since I turned seventeen and that party surprise has yet to come true.

My biological father died from heart failure - too many parties and too little antibiotics - while my step-father is someone I can never face again without remembering my Harry from _five years ago._

The way he smiled and chuckled, laughing at anything I did that was 'adorable' to him. Those dimples and his kisses on my body, all things I wish were still here. Why wasn't he? Everyone drove him away, made him feel sick and ugly on the inside when all I told him was how amazing he was.

How could a person be so cruel to someone so caring? I remember Harry from my younger years more than I remember my own mother. I don't remember her wedding to Harry's dad or the divorce, just Harry not letting me get a stomach bug from eating too much at the reception and he holding me for two days straight when I cried because I may never see him again.

I sobbed and he pressed warm, comforting kisses where they haunted me. He was my saviour more than anyone could ever be and I'll never forget him. 

I remember what my mother told him, called him when he wasn't around. It made me sick, it all still does. My Harry was so gentle and never took advantage. Yes, my naivety didn't last long and I figured out what he meant to me and I to him as soon as I could but, even them he never touched me.

There's nobody equal to my Harry and I wish people would stop trying to make me forget him. I don't need therapy and I don't need more friends. I turn eighteen in two months and used a quarter of my five year savings to bribe the Styles housekeeper, begging her to tell me where he went.

She told me after she saw how desperate I was, three failed attempts finally led to a success. He was in Alaska, locked away somewhere he couldn't come into contact with anyone. On Christmas morning, that is the location I select when I book a ticket to find him.

I know I'm not hanging onto false hope because on December twenty-fourth, the day of my thirteenth birthday, he wrote to me. Maybe he wrote more but my mother never let me see them. _He's a pervert_ , she spat. _Good for nothing._

He wrote to me and said, making all those harsh and ugly words fade away as I read the handwritten letter in his voice: 

**Hey Angel.**

**Happy birthday, love. I miss you and it's okay that you don't miss me. I encourage you not to but unfortunately I won't stop writing these letters. It's so cold and lonely here, both because I don't have you for company anymore. You are special, Louis. Special to me, one of a kind in this universe. Gems like you are rare and I hate myself for ever thinking I could deserve to be with you.**

**You were nine years old when I first saw you. II wish I could go back and do it again just so I can see you again. It doesn't matter that you won't remember everything we've been through. Don't worry, babe, I won't put you through any of that again.**

**When you turn eighteen I want you to open the gift I sent. It's an envelope with a drawing inside, one that I hope you'll appreciate as much as I did when you gave it to me. I'll find you again if not to just say goodbye because we both deserve the closure, but if I never get to I want you to know that I love you.**

**If I didn't love you I would never have protected you. You'd never have awoken something in me that had so much life, so much hope and energy. When you open that envelope with three creases at the corner where you tried to take it away, think of me because I'll always be thinking of you.**

**H.**

The letter made my emotions well up everytime I read it. I opened the envelope two seconds after I read it because my grief then was as strong as it is now. The creases were there and I could feel the warmth that washed over me when I pulled out a single page.

My drawing was disproportionate and hideous but it wasn't difficult to make out the long legs and fluffy hair.


	6. C6

**_[A/N: I'm actually scared about the success of this story o.O - S xx]_ **

_Find a place in your heart and treasure it. The rest is mine._

The day was spent _anticipating._

During my lunch hour and my few seconds spent between decoding and analysing what was needed, I thought back to my precious angel and what he could be doing. Probably not thinking about me, as hard as it was for my ego to admit. He's still so young, so radiant. He won't understand the depth of my dedication to him until later.

For lunch I made a trip to a local deli for a critically acclaimed sub sandwich. It looks way too big for me to finish today so I order half with a kale smoothie from the cafe next door. On my trek under an umbrella towards the office, I stroll past a specialty toy shop. 

On display is a pricey Marvel Avengers action figure set. It's over five hundred pounds and made of something a little better than plastic, reminding me of my Louis' backpack and Marvel obsession. Five hundred plus pounds is a lot of money to spend but I've got the cash to spend and my income covers under forty percent of my expenses. 

I walk into the store and purchase the first set sold today. The store owner hands me a cardboard bag with six individual boxed action figures, which I carry back to the office with me.

My angel's drawing of me with fluffy hair and long legs has been framed and placed on ground of holy grail. On my way to the office I'd stopped off at Cardies and bought an A4 picture frame, putting it up as soon as I got in for work.

Around three I'd gotten a call from my father to remind me of my task of picking up Louis. It's the only call I took around here because the interns did the telecommunications for everyone who was actually on the company's pay-roll.

"Yes. Fine." I sighed and looked out the window, the weather has gotten worse since mere windy conditions like last night.

My mind was foggy and I could hardly look at the time without securing the frames of my glasses and sighing. The skin of my temples throbbed beneath my fingertips as I massaged them, closing my eyes for two minutes to rest my body. Spending an entire six hours working with fourteen server drives taller than I am has taken an indecent toll on me. During the installation of the new software all the computers in the building had to shut down so I can handle the upgrade from my office. It being a top priority also meant that I was locked into my office while I got it done.

I couldn't think more than three syllables at a time but my mind thrusted images of my Louis outside in the rain waiting for me forward. Hurrying to finish everything before three, I manage to leave just the filing for correspondence for tomorrow. 

Louis' school is clogged with cars when I get there and the old route I'd take has been closed off because of a land-slide. Due to these reasons, not only did I take an extra twenty minutes to get there but I had to jump off with my jacket in hand with heavy raindrops pelted down on me.

It's difficult to see and my glasses are still on, becoming annoyingly misty due to water vapour. I couldn't function without them at the moment so I chose to stick it out. My jacket was especially purchased to keep water out and I'd fortunately be giving it to my Louis once I saw him because he'd need it more than I would.

Making my way over to the entrance I identify chaffeurs and nannies, some - but very few - parents here to fetch their children after a day at school. I'm about the only young one present and don't miss a single pair of eyes that glance my way.

Louis comes out running like everyone else but he stops at the main entrance where the shelter ends. My smile picks up, broad and amazingly excited to see my angel. He spots me through the grey downpour and races through it towards me. My heart does a double flip when I try cutting the distance short, crossing some of it to get to him.

"Hazzie!" He crows when I drop to my knees as soon as I'm close enough, covering him with my jacket. 

He waits patiently to be buttoned up with a small pout and I remove my glasses to risk the trip back to the Jaguar. I lift him into my arms and breathe in deep the calming scent he brought with him. His short arms wrap themselves around my neck, locking his fingers together and hiding under my chin. 

I felt most comfortable like this. Unimaginably at peace, I felt the need to drop dead because I'd never have something unfulfilled. My Louis was clinging to me as much as I held him, needing me too. He was my center of gravity and I always came back to him.

My car is not far away and I buckle him in the back-seat as quickly as possible, no time to linger and admire if I didn't want to contract pneumonia. He grins at me and I pause for a moment to smile back, holding the door frozen and getting drenched down to my bones.

"Can we get ice cream, Hazzie?" He asks after I've slid into my driver's seat, cringing at the squelch of wet clothing.

He kicked his short feet, both unable to touch the ground. I chuckle and withhold a sneeze to focus on getting out of here. "No, babe."

"Why not?" He looked out the window, appearing so astonishing with his small frame tucked into my oversized jacket.

"Because it's raining, angel." I pull into the line of cars waiting to get past a red light. "How about something else?"

"Hot chocolate!" He looked at me with wide, hopeful eyes. I smile through the rear-view mirror and pull onto the highway. "Please, Hazzie?"

"Hot chocolate is okay." I nod, figuring I'd need a hot drink myself - more like brandy for me - if I want to keep from getting ill. 

"Yay!" He was happy now and showed it in his toothy grin all for me, turning to his school bag and unzipping it. 

I remember the toys I bought in Louis' name today, and want to give them to him before I stand a chance of forgetting. "When is your birthday, babe?"

"Um-" Louis is rifling through his bag for something, heavy rustling on my seat. "-Christmas Eve! Why, Hazzie?"

"Well I got you something and I don't know if I should wait." I watch his blue, blue eyes brighten to flourescent bulbs, childish wonder and hopefulness flooding them again.

"Presents?" He says, a little softly as if in awe. 

"It's-" I curse after I sneeze thrice consecutively.

"Bless you, Hazzie." 

I smile at him with my red nose and watery eyes starting to itch. "Thank you, angel. Your presents are in the trunk so we'll see them later, okay?"

"Okay!" He beams, thrilled beyond measure to be receiving toys. "Thank you, Hazzie!"

"No problem, angel." I wipe the underside of my nose with my finger and sniff, turning the engine off once we've parked safely underground.

With silence all around us, I close my eyes for a moment and prepare myself for what I have to get done. Having Louis around made my schedule get tossed around but he's _my angel_ for whom I'd do anything. I jump off and open his door for him, kneeling to unbuckle his seatbelt and help him climb out.

"My bag." He holds me back when he reaches back in for his bag, his brand new toys already in my other hand.

We make our way to the elevator once I've locked up and Louis keeps trying to peer into the brown bag, using his short height to bend over. It's adorable to watch him lean this way and that, holding my hand but oh so distracted by the prospect of new toys.

"Hazzie, can I see 'em?" He peers up at me with beautiful cerulean eyes that sparkle and make my heart stop beating.

"Once you've had a bath and eaten something, you can see them." I reply, hating how awful I sound issuing instructions outside the office.

"Can I peek?" He waits for my mouth to open before speaking further. " _Please_ , Hazzie?"

"One peek." I fight off a shiver before replying, separating the handles of the shopping bag and let him giddily look inside for a moment.

 _"So many?"_ His oceanic blue marbles turn into furiously such flawed disbelief. 

"Yes." I laugh, only a little amused as I guide him out of the elevator with me. "Maybe you can have one now and the rest on your birthday?"

"No!" He whines, tugging on my drenched sleeve to emphasise the displeasure. "Want them now, Hazzie."

"Okay, babe." 

I don't find it difficult to joyous emotions around my Louis. He made me sincerely laugh and grin, making each display a meaningful one. Whether it was triggered by the illuminating nature of his electric eyes, or the creases by those eyes with extra chubbiness on his cheeks, I'm not sure. My Louis is a new measure of beautiful and he might be the most perfect person to ever walk the Earth.

"Now we need to get out these wet clothes." I pick my Louis up, bag and all, to sit perched on my forearm. 

"You're wetter than me, Hazzie." He says informatively, picking at the silk collar of my shirt.

I walk us to my bedroom and dump everything inanimate on the ground by my desk. Maybe I could have set him on his feet when I bent over to turn the taps on where the bathtub will fill up, but I'd have lost it if I didn't get to feel him nuzzle my neck when the sudden dip frightened him.

My lips fall slightly apart and I inhale through there the smell of my shampoo on him, his own body gel and just plain innocence. I could crumble to the ground with him and keep him captive there forever because this is _all mine._

"H-Here you go, angel." I have to pull away after the water has risen to a decent level and it's warm enough for him.

He inspects the water by straining his hold on my neck and dipping his finger in. I chuckle when he makes a very serious face for show, looking like a mini person in my massive jacket still draped over him. I take caution to the wind and take the biggest chance of my life in the next two seconds.

My lips hesitantly creep closer while Louis is still focusing on the water. They reluctantly hover over his school shirt just over his collarbones where my jacket didn't cover, making me breathless and border on cardiac arrest with me maniac nerves. Making the charge forward, I press my lips - slightly open - to his chest. 

It's a battle of wits and sanity to not pull away and just never see him again. My lips burn where they touch bare skin but it's a burn I want to die feeling. He doesn't push me away and _giggles_ like my heart isn't failing to create any impulses in my chest.

_Oh Lou. What have you done to me?_

"Hazzie?" He might be thinking that I've passed on and gone to Hell by now, my mouth refusing to move even when I command it to. "Can I bath now?"

I imagine that I've frightened him by now, judging by his tone alone and eventually his facial expression when I'm back in my own territory. "Y-Yeah. I'm- I'll send your clothes in here for you."

I put him down and leave without a glance back. Not when he calls for me and not when he pads over to the door to do it again. "Hazzie!"

There was no bulge in my pants and no blood flowing there to start one. I'm inexplicably in love with this boy and I've terrified him by being too forward too soon. I could claw my own eyes out and the pain wouldn't be sufficient.

Louis isn't there when I go back to gather some clothing for him. He'll like them fresh and warm from the dryer when he comes out of the bathroom.

"Could you take these to him after they're warmed?" I ask our housekeeper after I decide on what to take.

She nods and takes them over her shoulder, carrying on with her duties while I go back into my warzone to bring my own clothes out. I can't stay in there with him, not when I'm so purely defenseless against my own greed and want born from desire. 

I'd take care of him from afar. There's too much danger for him in me going for him anymore. My aim is to protect him always, but I couldn't do that if I'm a threat too. Maybe he doesn't understand yet but my decision to stay away will be a good one. He isn't ready for my intensity of devotion.

His voice, shaking and unsure, haunted me as I stripped down in the guest bathroom and all through my scalding hot shower. It did little for the burden on my shoulders, the self-hatred in my heart. My soul was back to being withered and alone, it's temporarty companion too afraid to be near it.

The only part of me that felt consolable is my lips. They still had Louis' feel on them, fresh and damp from it. Unfortunately, Louis' scared of me - _hates_ me - now and that's the last taste I'll ever get. I had time with him and I'll thrive on that. Forever or just tomorrow, I can't say.

"Hazzie!" Comes my favourite voice again, this time a lot louder because it's actually coming from my room. "Hazzie, I'm done!"

I slide down the glass shower door and cry. Shoulders shaking and hand covering my face with hot water turning my skin red and raw, I sob openly because I felt just as raw on the inside. I love Louis as much as I despise myself and he _needs_ me now but doesn't _want_ me anymore because I fucked up and it hurts like Hell.

The front door opens before I can attempt reaching for my towel and heels on cold wood heads for my room. I don't even care that his mother will be going into my sanctuary. There's no safety from Louis because he's in my head and I can't let go of that. It's all I have.

I hear a muted conversation and water taps closing, my own shower finally running cold and becoming my cue to get out. With slow, slow movements I towel off and put my warmest clothes on for a night indoors. If I decide to go out just to escape the pain of being faced with my vice and best thing in my life, I'll change.

"Where's Hazzie?" I hear from outside in the passage, freezing as I reach for the door handle.

"Don't know, bub." His mother replies, shutting my room door as I hear something click.

"Is he mad with me?" I put my hand to my mouth to keep them from quivering.

"I don't think so, love. Why?"

He doesn't answer her or maybe the blood in my head is too loud, the battle too great for me. When I'm sure they're far enough away, I step across the hall into my room and take a deep breath. It's just as I left it, neat and organised except for extra small shoes by my desk and fresh clothes in the hamper that join mine.

The TV comes on in the lounge and I hear Spongebob's shrill, pestering voice again. It's the most difficult thing for me to shut my door this time and lock it from the inside.

  
* * * * *  


"Hazzie?" The voice comes floating through my shut and bolted bedroom door at something to seven. 

I'm sat on the floor with my legs splayed out and my eyes locked on a bookshelf. I haven't been able to look away for two hours now, after I realised tomorrow is Saturday and I'll be working. It's a good thing because if I wasn't I'd be alone with Louis at home. 

"Hazzie, I'm tired." 

I want to crawl towards the door and just listen to him, maybe peek through the keyhole. Instead I suck up my guts and stand, unlocking the door against my trembling hands and pulling it open.

My breath is whipped out of me when it feels like it's been _years_ since I saw those marvellous eyes on smooth baby skin. He's looking up at me from his tiny spot on the ground, his Spiderman onesie covering his feet. 

"D-Do you wanna-" I swallow hard. "-sleep with your Ma today?"

Louis suddenly breaks down and starts to cry against my legs, hugging my knees as he ditches his pacifier. "I'm sorry, Hazzie!"

 _Oh God_. "What- Louis?"

"Don't be cross with me, Hazzie. Please! I'm sorry!" His tears dampen my sleeping pants and burn the flesh beneath more thoroughly than any amount of hot water. 

I gasp through the pain blossoming in my chest and pick him up, taking full advantage of my confusion. He isn't angry? Why? 

"Hey, angel." I pull him out of my neck and look at those pretty blue eyes, wiping away his tears with my thumb. "Don't cry, babe. I'm not cross with you."

"No?" He holds my thumb and sniffles, eyes red and cheeks tear-tracked. 

"No, baby boy." I hug him close and kick the door shut. "I'm never cross with you."

"Love you, Hazzie." He whispers into my neck, clutching my shirt as he hiccups through the last bouts of crying. "You're my best friend."

That's the greatest honour I've ever received and I'm employed at nineteen doing a job people need to get a degree in to usually do. I take that chance again from earlier and kiss his shoulder, loving his soft and sleepy scent as it flooded my senses.

"Come on, angel." I walk over to his side of my bed where his tissues and night water bottle was. "Get into bed and try to sleep."

"Hazzie, what are we doing tomorrow?" He asks, letting me wipe his nose with a fresh tissue as I sit on the edge of the bed. "Ma is-is busy."

"You can come with me to my office." I rub over his chest with my thumb. He still holds onto it. "I have to work too, babe."

"Can I?" His mood lights up my whole world. "I'll be good."

"I know you will be, babe." I kiss his forehead and switch the lamp off. "You're my good boy."

**_[A/N: Rushed to do this before my Wi-Fi died. What do you think? :') - S xx]_ **


	7. C7

**_[A/N: The previous chapter made us all cry :') we need to make a forum. Prayer circle for those who mourn bc fic love isn't real. - S xx]_ **

_I look into your eyes and see myself. You look into mine and see in them everything you've ever done for me._

My Louis is welcomed into the company building when I walk in with him trailing behind. 

I'd packed him a bag of things that will keep him occupied while I work, which included snacks and all his homework that was due on Monday. He brought his pacifier and nabbed the Eeyore stuffie off _our_ bed just before we could leave. 

"Oh and who's this?" Taylor bends all the way down while I enter a pass-code into my office security system. 

Louis hides behind my leg when she tries to introduce herself, leaving my blood flow to lessen until I can hardly feel where he's hugging my thighs. He's so shy and precious to the outside world.

"There's no need to hide, sweetheart." She says to him, earning my deepest level of annoyance. "Are you Harry's friend? He's my friend too." 

I choke on a scoff and finally get the damn glass frosted door to slide open. Louis' little arms tighten around the left leg he's got prisoner and he mumbles something to her that makes her laugh. Taylor straightens her pencil skirt as he kneels. 

"What's he in for, Harry?" She asks me next. When did I sign up for a Swift Inquisition?

"Nothing." I shrug and lift my angel off the ground, seating him on my hip and trying not to feel too smug when he hugs my neck. 

"Where's his mother?" She stands and flattens some creases on her blouse. I knew her question pointed more towards _who_ than where.

"With my father." I reply honestly, my skin warming up where Louis breathed against my throat. "Are we done here?"

"Yeah." She coughs and gives Louis one more smile. "Have a fun day here, okay?"

Louis doesn't respond for the ten seconds I wait, gathering his bag and mine before stepping into my office and letting the sensors shut the door soundly. The automatic lock clicks into place and we're barricaded in here until my lunch hour. 

"This is my desk." I carry Louis over to the three joined tables in a U-shape facing the flickering of the tower servers that were behind a glass wall. "Now, babe, you can't touch anything on my desk. Okay?"

He nods, listening attentively with his little beanie on and small, small gloves because of the punishing weather outside. "Okay, Hazzie."

"Do you want a desk too?" I ask him. 

There's a spare table small enough and short in height enough for him to utilise for the day. It can be cleared of my excess stationery if he really wants it. I set my bag down on my desk. 

"Wanna be with you, Hazzie." He squeezes around my neck and makes my heart leap bounds out of my chest and onto the ground.

Without hesitation, I chuckle and hug him back. He sniffs and his cold nose is pressed to my jugular but it's all so pleasant to have him want me as much as I want him.

"Really, angel?" I drum my fingers on his soft thighs, feeling the flesh mould and flatten beneath them. 

His hypnotic eyes pin mine into any dimension that he wants to take me into, traces of sleep still in them. "Don't wanna leave and you'll get cross with me again."

"Oh babe." I give his warm forehead a kiss over the woollen beanie, closing my eyes and reigning the emotions in. How could I have been such a monster to my angel? "I won't ever be cross with you again, Loubear. I promise."

My Louis is easily made happy with this statement and grants me a much too quick kiss on my cheek. It's a little damp from his wet lips - so thin, so pink - and I know already that I'll be feeling it all day. 

At last he decides that he does want a desk if it can be next to mine - butterflies make themselves known in my gut upon hearing that. I clean the wooden piece of furniture and drag it over to where I'd be sitting. Due to its miniature height, he doesn't require a chair and is perfectly content with sitting criss-cross on the carpet. 

"Hazzie, my drawing!" He beams brighter than the moon when he sees the frame on my desk.

"Yes it is, babe." I smile, a little strained because all I want to do is watch him without needing to respond. 

I watch him set himself up on the floor and his appropriately sized desk while adjusting the thermostat to something toasty. He pulls off his beanie hat and gloves, stuffing it into his backpack. Eeyore is made to stand beside him, his legs under the table. His case of pencils and colours come out, left on the table as he also reveals his homework.

My Louis makes me swoon with how adorable he can be when overly prepared.

All my files belonged to a neatly organised shelf that touched the ceiling and the floor, which is the only thing I allowed an intern to touch when my father forced me to let one of them do something. Nobody touched the servers or the main motherboard but me, which made me entirely accountable. 

I have the three assorted correspondence files and slip my glasses on to read the finely printed titles of ordered documents I'm meant to put away today. Louis' dropping, rolling and scribbling of pencil work is the soundtrack of my morning. 

At twenty to nine my phone rings with a call from the intern under my employment, asking - as she did every morning - what my order for the cafe down the road is. 

"Are you hungry, angel?" I crouch down by Louis' work station, in awe of how he managed to scatter and untidy everything in forty minutes. 

He looks up from his numeracy homework with his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. The small creases that he's far too young to have on his brow indicated his dislike for being disturbed.

"No, Hazzie." He pipes up, immediately returning to his work afterwards. 

Standing up with a bemused smile teasing my lips, I walk back towards my filing task with the phone at my ear. "Get me something with fruit and another with chocolate. One of those churro's from outside the cafe and a pizza slice from inside."

"What pizza?" My intern is jotting everything down - on her hand most likely - by the sound of all the rustling.

"Whatever their special is." I frown when I'm unable to find my place back at the table, so I hang up after a last word or two. "Knock. Don't come in."

I couldn't have a second interruption for the day. Louis went back to his homework while I shoved the ring-binders back into their designated spots, not at all curious about every moving thing like I thought he would be. 

Hmph.

"Hey, angel?" I kneel on one knee beside him again, taking in the sight of untidy Numeracy skills.

He looks up at me, bottom lip protruding while the upper one was sucked into his mouth. I get lost in those mighty powerful oceans of differentiated meaning. They were like portraits that depicted another dimension, each glance meant a different thing.

"I'll be on break in three hours." I inform him, dragging my voice because I find them much more difficult to formulate when he's gazing so intently back at me. "How about I take you on a tour of the building?"

It pained me to ask because taking him out into the building would mean the inevitable attention of onlookers that would aggravate me to no end. However, I had no choice and the exercise would possibly do me good considering I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks. Taking Louis to see various things in a sixty-story skyscraper should work the muscles that were otherwise dormant.

"Okay, Hazzie." He grinned, wide and true to the probable childish joy of an adventure to come. 

I smile back at him, hardly close in the electric power he wields with a small crease at the corner of his mouth. "I will-"

A loud beeping kicks off to my right coming from the server monitors and I spring to my feet immediately. Frowning as I study the recent history that set off a very sensitive alarm I'd put in place if anything went wrong, I curse out loud when I see that it's the newly installed software refusing to adapt like the manufacturer's promised.

"Fuck." I swing my chair around and sit down in it, panicking at the red bold writing spewing out of the server codes. "Fuck. Fuck."

"Hazzie!" Shouts my little companion, bold eyes showing his shock. "Bad words."

"Sorry, babe." I mutter distractedly, returning to the thirty plus warnings appearing as pop-ups on my screen.

It's a mission and a half to settle the matter again. I call up the head office and tell them - instruct, rather - that every computer be shut down or else everything they're doing will be lost as I reboot and reprogramme. Thankfully everybody listens and I delete the borderline virus before it becomes a fatal bug, erasing any damage quickly.

All of thirteen minutes it took me to get it all back to normal and end my call with the head office to say that all is well again. I also didn't notice Louis standing next to me until I sat back and removed my foggy glasses, rubbing my eyes tiredly.

"Hey, Loubear." I look at him briefly, his eyes set squarely on the server monitors and his little tummy sticking out. 

"What's that, Hazzie?" He asked, not looking away from the black screen as his voice got softer in awe.

I feel awfully smug at the thought that my underground job impresses my Louis. Pushing my chair back a tad, Louis let's me pick him up so he can settle on my knees. 

"Well angel, this is a control system." I tell him smoothly. "It can manage every device in the building."

"Really?" His wide eyes get wider, his body leaning forward towards the bluetooth keyboard. "It looks scary, Hazzie."

"It's not so scary when you've been doing it for a long time." I kiss his temple, shutting my eyes to fully appreciate his mixed berry scent. "Do you like it angel?"

"It looks fancy." He contributes, a mild insult or simple statement I'm not sure. "I like it!"

"Yeah?" I rest my chin on his bony shoulder, comforted by him appreciating what I do for an income. "Maybe I'll teach you one day, okay?"

"No." He immediately starts to resist by shaking his head, the sag of his weight against me making me feel like I've found my throne. "Don't like it _that much_ , Hazzie." 

With a chuckle of my own, I manage to amuse my Louis into a small fit of laughter. "No? Why not?"

My Louis shrugs and leans forward with his elbows on my desk - so unmarred and unscraped by living a hard life. He sits like that, with me, watching the computer screens with vague interest until even that dwindles and he doesn't allow me to hold him hostage anymore. My hope to hold him all day is lost when he hops down and sits back on the ground.

The intern in charge of bringing me today's food is two minutes later than she usually is, and even though she tries to explain her delay I dismiss her before the entire argument is out of her mouth. It's not like I can fire her for her tardiness.

"Hazzie, come look." My Louis calls for me once I've ensured the door to my office is sealed shut again.

I'm soon to realise that this is Louis' method of asking for help. He makes me come to his 'desk' and sit - on the floor - without caring for the food I offer him, before thrusting his homework in my face. I inspect it anyway with my crooked smile never easing up, the coo-worthy spelling and multiplication errors making it that much more noticeable.

He's eating my pizza slice when I look up from my job of correcting the small things so that he can go back and do it again. As much as I wanted to just make life easy for my Louis, he has to go through the paces at school like the rest of us.

"Tasty?" I ask him with a teasing side-glance. 

My Louis blushes and giggles behind that extra small hand of his, although isn't guilty enough to give me back my pizza. "It's yummy, Hazzie."

"I'm sure it is." I wipe the corner of his mouth, freeing it of the sauce stain and watch him grin as thanks. "Well if you're going to steal a man's food, you should hold the container too so you don't make a mess."

"Stealing is bad, Hazzie." He tells me hautily, ripping a chunk of the pizza off and I can never bring myself to be mad at the mushroom that lands on my table. "I _borrowed._ "

Laughing with an inexplicably high volume from his explanation of defense, my head is thrown back slightly. "Is it? Then I'm sorry, babe."

He seems to accept my apology and is soon holding onto my knee-caps, hoisting himself up onto my lap with my minuscule aid once again. I lock my arms around his middle and sigh heavily into his back, releasing every weight on my shoulders to just revel in this moment. 

"Hazzie?" He wriggles and my life flashes before my eyes, a pain groan leaving me although it's soft enough to not be heard.

I look up and am met with a miniature hand holding an even tinier piece of pizza to my lips. How can I decline? A lot more shakily than I'd appreciate, I part my lips and Louis - _my Louis_ \- fits the baked dough that's smartly void of any toppings at all into my mouth. 

"Thank you, babe." I turn us around to be slotted against my desk, Louis' legs disappearing under the surface. 

His hand touches my cheek, the messy palm landing on my jaw as he cuddles into my like a personal pillow. I'd be his anything, of course, so I let him squirm and shift until he's content with his position pressed to the rapid rate of my heartbeat.

My cheek is sticky where I still had sauce on it but I'd easily admit it's the best accessory I've ever had. "Want to finish your homework, babe?"

For the next hour I multi-task between helping Louis and monitoring the servers as I do everyday. He's extra grateful when I get him through two days of homework in that short space of time and I get a peck on the cheek for my efforts. It happens to also land near the red sauce streak and I firmly decide to never wash that side of my face ever again.

It felt extra special to have a kiss - on the cheek no less - from my Louis when just yesterday I was ready to do _anything_ to get away because I was terrified that he hated me. Here I sit with those troubles erased and my heart at ease for just this moment.

"Hazzie, can we go to the zoo tomorrow?" He asks me once he's gotten some Crayolas and is marking up a blank page. 

"Okay." I seem to only have a satisfied pulse when I'm brushing my thumbs over his hips, no more than that. "Are you going to wake up early in the morning to leave?"

"Yes, Hazzie!" He answers confidently even though I'm certain that tomorrow morning will still mean a difficult task of waking him up. My angel liked to sleep in.

"We'll go then." I pull up the zoo's website on my other monitor, checking its address and directions considering I've never been there before. "Want to take a picture with the lions?"

He nods profusely, chucking his crayons to pay attention to the website's features. "I want to, Hazzie."

"Sure?" I ask, scrolling through some attractions. "They're pretty scary."

"They're not scary, Hazzie." He tells me matter-of-factly. "Baby lions are sweet."

"What _are_ baby lions, angel?" 

"Cubs!"

"Good boy." I reward him with a forehead kiss. "You can see the cubs and the penguins and-"

"Dolphins!"

"There aren't any dolphins at the zoo, babe." My happiness deflates as it fills up with the worry that now he's not as excited as before.

He actually looks relieved. "I don't like dolphins, Hazzie. They scary."

"They _are_ scary, baby boy."

"Hazzie." He giggles, loud and unashamed, behind his baby fist. "I'm nine!"

"And?" I raise a disbelieving brow. "Now you can show all the other nine year old's just how smart you are."

That seems to settle his doubts and he nods, a cheeky little minx on my lap making my heartbeat feel complete rather than race.

  
* * * * *  


***LOUIS' POV***

My mother threw an absolute fit when I told her where I was going. I wasn't going to lie because she'd figure it out and her tantrum would have been worse. Being eighteen finally, there's nothing she could do to stop me from walking out the door.

Now here I am, standing outside the door of the only man I can ever let steal my heart and virtue. The weather was deplorable and there had to be a metaphor resting in the winds as they whipped around me wildly, jostling my system one too many times.

I raise my closed fist tentatively and knock, every doubt racing through me like fire.

What if he doesn't remember? What if he's moved on? What if he just changed his mind? 

His house was isolated on a hill not too far away from the rest of civilisation, facing the woods and made of sturdy wood. I admired it because I bet inside was warm and cosy.

The door opens with a muted creak and heavy footsteps fall short for a moment, my head raising itself like magnetism to look up into a set of unGodly green eyes. He took my breath away now, made my insides melt and blood's pace slow down to _look._

"Hi." I manage to squeak out, gauging any change in the pale marble face staring blankly back at me.

He opens his mouth, knuckles getting a whole lot whiter on the door knob, but shuts it again like he's in pain. A frown knits his brows together and a sound of agony leaves his wet lips.

"Do-Do you remember me?" I ask, stepping forward impatiently. I didn't travel across the world to be given the silent treatment. 

The next thing I know I'm dragged into his little cabin abode with two hands _shaking_ on my waist and a face buried in my neck. My gaze is forcefully tilted up to the ceiling as warm breath fans over my throat, stunning me to silence.

"What are you _doing here_ , babe?" He only touches me to his full potential when I guide his hands to my hips, making him squeeze the flesh that's all his.

"F-For you." I don't stop when he nearly buckles at his knees. "I missed you, Hazzie."

"Missed you too, angel. Missed you so much." Despite all his longing, desperate acts conducted around me all he does is kiss my pulse so sweetly. "Why?"

"I'm yours, Hazzie." I promise to him, pledging myself to his ownership. "Always have been."

Suddenly he pulls away and is standing a few feet away, his eyes dead after being shot to Hell for all these years. "No, Louis. We can't."

"We can." I correct like he used to. "I'm eighteen-"

"That doesn't matter." He shakes his head, face crumbling. "I-I can't do this to you. You deserve someone your own age who has known you when I couldn't."

"Hazzie." I try. 

"No, Lou!" He shouts, making me jump and close my eyes to calm down.

"Harry." I try _again._ "You can't tell me what to do anymore and that includes this."

"You're absolutely crazy if you think-"

"You don't love me anymore?" I cut him off abruptly. "You don't? Tell me, Harry. I do. I remember you from when I was _nine_ , Harry. That doesn't just go away."

"It doesn't." Harry hangs his head low, in regret or resentment. "It has to though, Loubear. I won't lose you again."

"What?" Now my confusion catches me.

He looks up and from the background of a fireplace, looks ethereal but also scared without being scary. "You're young, babe. You have the opportunity to find someone better."

"Harry, I don't want someone else. You're _it_ for me."

"What will people say when-"

"To Hell with them, Harry! This relationship is ours, not theirs. I want you and I don't need their approval."

He doesn't look the least bit astounded by my outburst, but my chest still heaves from it.

"I want you too, Lou. I want nothing more than you." He's in my face all over again, towering over me and making me feel the warmth I've been without for so long. "You'll have me?"

"Of course." I caress his tense jaw, loosening it when he turns his face into my hand. "You'll have me?"

"Any day." He answers me, a whisper from a strong but broken man. "Everyday."

**_[A/N: Last chapter is next :(((((( - S xx]_ **


	8. C8

**_[A/N: To the lovely Ooreos and pattycake18, I do hope you're not confirming that stripper career o.O please don't because strippers make me awkward lol I hope you survive high school (it does kick one's ass though). OKAY SO PLEASE READ THIS. I can't end this right now.....because I realised there's too much to do and if I post a final chapter then I'll have to compress it and o.O absolutely not. So we'll be around one another for a little while longer. - S xx]_ **

_Get on it. Claim my heart as yours._

My Louis' first field trip and I was going deeper and deeper into divine madness.

His mother signed the permission slip but naturally, the responsibility of stocking his little backpack with things to keep him full all day fell on my shoulders. That's how we ended up together in a grocery store within walking distance of home, him swinging his feet out of boredom from his perch on the trolley.

"What would you like, babe?" I push the empty trolley into the candy isle and let Louis point out everything to me. 

"That, Hazzie!" He points to a packet of turkish delight, which is much too high for him to reach so I bring down for him. 

He doesn't care to ask for anything else after I've armed him with Regal Turkish Delight. I fill the trolley with whatever I deem necessary for his excursion. The right ingredients for sandwiches, sugary treats and the correct amount of liquids.

"Hazzie." He sounds enthralled by something, his attention on something just outside the store with his tiny fist buried in my jacket. 

"Yes, angel?" I put all our purchases onto the cashier's station and push the trolley through, picking my Loubear up from the seat at the front and setting him on the ground. 

"Look!" He points at something, his tiny fingers all stretched out to indicate towards what he wants to show me.

I follow his line of sight and find a clown at the entrance creating balloon animals and other objects. Louis is looking at me with such wide hopeful eyes, blue turning to light crystal as he keeps me bent over. 

"Okay but-" I keep him from immediately running off by hauling his little self off the polished floor and onto my hip. "-you have to wait for me, angel."

My Louis pouts and I'm in danger of giving in, of surrendering to his every whim but he thankfully wisely chooses to entertain himself with a sealed pack of my mint gum. He twists it in his still-baby paws, unable to read the words printed on but trying anyway.

"He's so sweet." Says the woman behind the till to me, accepting my credit card. "Is he yours?"

"Yes." I answer, biting my way through a forced smile when I take my black card back and my paper bags. 

"Hazzie, can I go now?" He wriggles in my grip, eyes laser-focused on the amusing clown at the entrance. "Please, Hazzie!"

"Go on, babe." I kiss his forehead and send him bulleting forward on the ground, underestimating his speed. "Slow down, Lou!"

He hardly hears me and doesn't stop running on his thin, short legs until he's peering directly up at the female clown with a toothy grin. I don't hear a thing he says to get her to start making a balloon crown from three different colours, but he's so thrilled with it atop his head I had no issue with handing over a few dollars.

"Do you like your crown, angel?" I position it correctly on his feathery hair, smiling back at his wonderful beam. 

He holds onto my finger once I'm back on my feet from my knees, tugging on it in a rhythm and still holding my pack of gum. "Do I look pretty, Hazzie?"

The question takes the breath right out of my lungs and twists it in my gut so I feel faint. I look him in the eye across a height difference when I respond. "The absolute prettiest, angel."

We pile all the bought essentials into my father's GMC Terrain and Louis stands helpfully by my side to fidget with his crown and extend his small-small hand up with my gum to return it. 

"Thank you, Lou." I put the pack into my back pocket. 

I give him a pinch on his cheek and lift him into the air before sitting him down in the back-seat.

"Where are we going now, Hazzie?" He let's me buckle him in but as is customary, kicks his shoes off to cross his legs and play games on my phone.

Wishing I could get in next to him and just never leave, I take a deep breath and think of an answer. "Home, angel. We have to get you ready for your trip tomorrow."

His smile gets a little heavy at the sides and I've found my reason to crawl in beside him. "I don't wanna go tomorrow, Hazzie."

"Why, babe? You were so excited before." I put my hand on his knee and lightly squeeze, looking into those deep pits of magnificent blue. 

He let's my phone fall between his thighs and his crown falls a little towards the left. His nails pick at the ridges of my iPhone. "Kids are mean to me, Hazzie."

"What?" I have to give in to those big, blue eyes when they start to well up. 

I unbuckle his seat belt and drag him onto my lap where he shifts until he's comfortable against my chest. His eyes slip shut and one of his hands holds the lapel of my jacket, like I had no reason to ever part with him. In the month or so that I've been with my Louis he's grown just as attached to me as I am to him. 

I'll kiss his forehead and he kisses my chin. He never knew to an inkling of the extent of what he was doing to me inside, but he'd smile and giggle so fondly that I'd never take any joy from him.

"Which kids are mean to you, Loubear?" I cradle him in my arms just the way he likes, one arm spanning the length of his folded-up body. 

To think that children at such an elite school still resorted to twenty-first century bullying really drove me up the wall. For _my Louis_ to be the subject of that makes me see red. Kid or not, I want any threats removed permanently from around my angel.

"Danny and Andy." He prattles off some other names I don't catch. "They-They say mean things."

"Like what, angel?" My body goes a little tense from the core when I feel his wet lips on my pectoral. "You have to tell me, babe. I can make sure the mean children leave you alone."

"Really?" He looks at me like I'm _his_ saviour and hero, when he is mine. 

"Of course, babe." I give him a rekindle of a squeeze. "Anything for you because you're my Loubear."

"I am?" His childish personality provoked these kinds of responses from me a lot, and I indulged every last one. 

"Always."

I ended up taking him for a small escape to the local farmer's market. He didn't think the name was enough to beckon his interest, that is until he saw the petting zoo. Once again I found myself physically restraining my Louis from running off in the direction of sheep and goats, squealing out bubbles of laughter whenever I hauled him onto my shoulders. 

His feet dangled over my shoulders and my hands secured his thighs by firmly encircling them within it width it could extend to. My Louis found delight in messing up my hair even more than it already was since I hadn't combed it in the morning. He undid my bun and concentrated on curling even more what was frizzy.

The atmosphere here is organic and all natural. It was admirable in how people were buzzing about but still maintaining a calm exterior. The green floors were the healthiest grass I've seen and stalls lined an infinite path down to the animals with white sheets.

"What smoothie would you like?" The young woman behind one of the organic juice stalls asks me. 

"Kale and apple juice. Large." I respond, extracting the money I'd withdrawn earlier. 

"Hazzie, when can we see the animals?" He asks from above my head, already creating that mental image of his distracting pouted lips.

"As soon as we're done seeing everything, angel." 

I've become more tame around Louis' body being so close to mine. The exposure during sleeping cuddles and lazy Sundays since his mother hasn't moved out of our apartment, made it that much easier. 

"Can I touch the stallie?" Louis' term was addressing a stallion. He didn't like words with many syllables and 'funny spelling'.

"You can." I chuckle, taking the transparent cup filled with my order and moving on. 

The woman who took care of order gives me a smaller cup filled with something brown and thick. "For the little man. It's chocolate and berry."

I thank her and absolutely do not risk giving Louis that cup while he's sitting on my shoulders, already so squirm-y. He becomes increasingly shy after his thanks to her and nearly blocks my eyes when he attempts to hide behind me.

"Let's get lunch, yeah?" I ask him as we walk away, one of my hands occupied with our chilled drinks and the other securing his ankle against my torso.

"Burgers!" He proclaims proudly, not caring for volume, and becomes excited by the prospect all on his own. 

He has a love for burgers but they're not the kiddy kind one finds at McDonalds. My Louis will only eat if I order the double cheese burger and give him the second patty. It's his ritual that became ours and hasn't died off yet.

Feeling warmed up to my boots, I kiss his thigh where it's nestled under my jaw. "Let me know if you see any burgers from up there, babe."

"Okay!" He is probably on the look-out already. 

We do end up finding a stall that serves grilled chicken baguettes amongst other fresh delicacies. I order one of the first and a type of grilled cheese sandwich that has chicken bits and chips in it before it's toasted. Louis loves it enough to deny me a taste when we're seated at one of the benches in a clearing. 

"Do you like the smoothie?" I ask him about the drink he's been gulping down too quickly to be healthy. "Slow down, angel."

"It's tasty." He tells me, convincing me with the wideness of his eyes as they dare to bulge out their sockets. "Is yours?"

"Mine is kale." I answer, knowing to expect the expression of yuckiness before it arises.

"It's pretty green though." He sidles up closer to me on the wooden bench, intrigued somewhat by my smoothie. "Like your eyes, Hazzie."

"Hmph." I screw up my lips to the side, tasting the sweet sauce used on my chicken baguette. "Thank you, angel. I like your eyes though."

"My eyes are not green, Hazzie!" He protests to my favour, eyeing the crisps in my plate.

"Doesn't matter, angel." I laugh, feeding him one of the smaller chips on my paper plate. He munches away happily. "Your eyes are very, very blue."

"Do you like blue, Hazzie?" He opens his mouth for another crisp respectfully, and he gets one placed on his tongue after I get a long enough glance at it.

"I love blue, angel." I reply around chewing a bit of my meal, feeling ultra smug at his liking for something about me. "Can we go home after this, babe?"

"Okay." He doesn't sound half as saddened by the idea now, and adjusts the balloon crown on his head once again. I'm thankful the breeze is so light that it doesn't fly away. "Can we watch um-.....the meatball movie again?"

He's taken a liking to the animation _Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs_ and I've sat through it with him close to seven times already. "Anything for the pretty little king."

  
* * * * *  


"Hazzie!" Louis came into the kitchen at three in the morning with mismatched ankle socks and my Rolling Stones T-shirt dragging against his bare thighs.

The most fascinating and jaw-dropping feature was the six month baby bump he sported under that thin layer of cotton. It never failed to bring me to my knees everytime I got to see him looking so precious, carrying my baby boy. My baby with a baby. 

I was making him some warm almond milk and buttered toast like he requested after badgering me in my sleep. "Lou, I told you to stay in bed. It's cold."

"It's not _that_ cold." He finds himself behind me, toes of his socks pressing against my ankles as he hugged me from the back. "My baby's daddy keeps me warm."

How could anyone help becoming deliriously endeared by hearing that? I smile and press my lips to his temple. My back felt the firmness of taut skin over where he housed my baby's growth, protecting and providing the way he's been on about for months now.

"Come here, angel." I reel him in under my arm, fitting him against my size easily. "Is this all you want to eat?"

"Yes." Louis yawned, the chirping of birds early in the morning always annoyed him. "Can we go back to bed now?"

"We can do whatever you want. I'm all yours for the next three months." I tell him, once out of the thousands of times we've reminded each other.

"Let's go." He takes my hand and his mug of warmed milk, letting me carry the plate of toast as we make our way through our small but spacious apartment to our bedroom. "Can we start on the nursery today, Hazzie?"

"Yeah, babe." I immediately fell onto my front while he carefully crawled into bed, setting the plate on his lap and the mug on his night-stand. 

He poked my shoulder two minutes into my sleep. "Want some?"

"No, babe." I barely peeled an eye open before I was out again.

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis has been the absolute sweetest during this time in his life. He never annoyed Harry except for food cravings because he couldn't compromise on those, and Harry _had to_ to shower or bathe with him everytime just because.

When he was done eating, he sighed contentedly as he patted his protruding tummy and cuddled into Harry's side to share a pillow. He's unsure of how people could stand to ever be away from the one they loved the way he loved his Hazzie. He also sincerely doubts anyone loves someone the way he loves his Hazzie. 

"Goodnight." He murmured as he kissed Harry's artful jaw, still able to blush like a teenager when they flexed in his sleep and got a little hollow. 

"Hmph." Came Harry's highly sleepy response that's smashed into his pillow.

Louis took advantage of a full two hour sleep before his socks got too fuzzy and he attempted to take them off using just his toes. It was a rough task that eventually woke Harry up in a groggy fit.

"What are you doin', Lou?" He asked, eyes still closed and body sending itself under for a fitful doze.

"Socks aren't comfy anymore." Came the boy's scratchy, soft voice directly into Harry's ear. Sometimes Harry forgot whether this Louis was still at the age when he first met him. 

Fondly, he turned his head and kissed Louis' nose. "Would you like-"

Louis anticipated the question and answered quickly. "Yes please." 

Harry chuckled and sat up to haul Louis' feet onto his lap, aware that the boy is peeking out from behind a cover or two to watch. He pulls off each sock and just to add some finesse, kisses Louis' precious ankles. 

"Thank you, Hazzie." And with that, they're both asleep again for another couple of hours before Louis needs something.

At breakfast, Harry surprises Louis with getting him what he wants without being asked. In all fairness, Louis has been asking for the same thing everyday and all Harry had to do was drive to the same take-away joint to order the same double cheese burger.

"Burgers!" Louis grins when he sees the familiar brown packaging being displayed across their kitchen counter-top.

"Three different kinds." Harry informs him with a warm smile and a discreet yawn. Then, of course, there's the personalised addition that Louis substitutes chips with.

"Did you get me those tiny pickles too?" He asks, already ripping apart the box of the double cheese burger with no mustard.

Harry produces a glass jar from a white plastic packet and slides it across the granite surface to his Loubear, who cheers again and gives Harry's cheek a saucy kiss.

"I love you." Louis proclaims later when he's safely tucked away under Harry's chin while they watch a scary movie and he nibbles on pickles. 

"I love you too, babe." Harry kisses Louis' extra salty lips and gets offered a half eaten pickle. He accepts because his angel never shares food with him unless he feels like it.


	9. C9

**_[A/N: Wrote this over my vacation. Made friends with a German Shephard whose name is Hunter. My brother is a dork. What's new? Gonna start off with the flashback this time because ;) ;) - S xx]_ **

_Once and forever. You became mine when the moon first shone and the first wolf howled._

"I'm not dancing." Harry tells his lovely Louis, who won't stop pouting at being denied.

"You are." Louis grabs his wrist from where he's sitting on their sofa and shakes it for effect. "Please, Hazzie. The baby wants to dance."

"Does the baby know that Daddy is awful at dancing?"

"They do." Louis' laugh is enough to drive a man around the earth twice over. They were unsure of the gender and therefore using odd pronouns. "They still want to dance."

"Okay, baby." Harry gets down on his knees to frame Louis' baby bump, pressing his lips to the taut skin. "We'll dance."

Dance classes are amongst the few things Louis demands that Harry join him on during the early second trimester. They've got no friends outside each other and neither seems to have found the energy to complain about it. Everyone who knew them for long knew the story of their love and shunned them for it. Anyone they met afterwards eventually came to know or weren't too fond of the phenomenon that is Louis being pregnant. 

Harry's father kept in contact every so often and hasn't remarried since Jennifer. Harry owed his father for that loyalty. Jennifer never called or visited after disowning Louis as her son because he chose Harry. People at Harry's work cracked jokes when he was filing for baby-moon leave to be with Louis.

It was all worth the misery if he got to come home to Louis and soon, his babies.

"Babe?" Harry was on his phone but walked into the living room in search of his pregnant boyfriend.

"I'm here." Louis had a glass of milk and an apple on a plate while he watched some action film.

"What are you up to?" Harry ditched his phone at the kitchen and sat down with Louis' legs on his lap.

"I'm watching." Louis loosely indicated towards the TV, nibbling on slices of apple.

Harry pulled off Louis' socks, one at a time, and massaged his feet while the movie rolled on. He got the swelling at the boy's ankles to go down drastically and kissed his knobbly knees before lying down between them. He used Louis' thigh as a pillow, kissing the bump on his way down.

"Hello baby." Harry whispers against Louis' protruding belly button, like he's telling his unborn baby many secrets. "Have you been good for your mommy today? No?"

Louis' hand carded through Harry's hair, watching as his favourite person spoke so sweetly to their babies. "They were good."

"Mommy says you were good." Harry pecks the skin thrice then once more. "Mommy also really loves you and would lie to Daddy about things like that."

Giggling, Louis tugs on Harry's hair and forgets about the movie with Daniel Craig. "My babies are always going to be wonderful, Daddy."

"I believe that." Harry says softly, kissing where his child was resting. "Daddy loves you, little one. Very, very much."

  
* * * * *  


Louis' field trip was scheduled to end at three and there's a crowd of parents with a mass of cars waiting to pick up their children, having been waiting for over fifteen minutes. I become increasingly anxious over the time that I seat myself on the bonnet of my car to wait. 

Finally, at half past three the trio of yellow school buses roll into the parking lot and everyone breathes a sigh of relief in unison. I slide off the cold steel and get closer to the exit where the sun's rays bounced off the golden bars on the gate.

Children pile out of the buses in groups and pairs, all laughing and chatting to each other about the wonders of a historical museum. I have to wait until most of the kids are away and most of the vehicles have zoomed past the highway for my Louis to appear. 

He comes out of the third bus with a friend who doesn't seem too interested in what he's saying, just the packet of sour worms they are sharing. I frown at the scene and make my way closer so that he can see me, looking up from his elaborate hand motions and grin like the little angel he is.

"Hazzie!" His squeal of happiness to see me makes my heart pick up its regular pace. 

I smile back just as brightly, pulling my Ray Bans up over my forehead and bending to pick my Louis up when he comes barelling towards me. He hugs my neck and kisses my cheek, not caring for the faint dirt tracks he created with his messy shoes on my shirt.

"Hello, Loubear." I wrap my arms around his slim waist and press my lips to his forehead.

He hums in response and takes my aviators off to try them on, not at all tired after a day of being on his feet. "Hi, Hazzie."

"How was the trip, angel? Did you have fun?" I turn away from the school population and make my way back to the Jaguar. 

"Yeah." He twists his small, slightly chubby fingers together over my nape. "We saw lots of nice th-things."

"Oh? Like what?" I indulge him, keeping his body close to mine as the heat wave got worse and I arrived at the car where the air-conditioner was on. 

"Like-" Louis shows me a circle with his hands. "-pictures of these big holes that are old, old."

"Okay." I buckle him into his seatbelt and his flushed skin instantly starts returning to its regular complexion. "What else?"

"Animals!" He shouts as I close the door, his voice following me to the driver's seat.

"What about some ice cream now, angel?" I ask him while wiping sweat off his brow.

"Yes please!" He wiggles in his seat and rifles through his backpack to get out a water bottle. "Are we going now-now?"

"Yes, babe. We're going now." I chuckle as I reverse out of my parking spot and pull into the stream of expensive cars filing out of the school garage space.

"Hazzie, do you still have my thingy?" Louis tries leaning forward in his seat but the seat belts restricts him slightly.

"Thingy, love?" I distractedly turn off the radio after it automatically came on and turned onto the street behind a white Porsche.

"My phone, Hazzie." He drags out the syllables in the word of his possession, lips puckered around the nozzle of his water bottle.

"Do you want it?" I ask, sounding inquisitive because surely he doesn't have a purpose for the device right now.

"No." He shakes his head and turns to look out the window. 

We drive in silence for a few minutes, everytime I look in the rear-view mirror I find my Louis leaning his forehead against the strap of his seat belt and slowly nodding off. I sympathise with the sweet boy. It must have been a lengthy, exhausting day that results in the reward of cuddles and a good treat.

"Angel." I speak clearly to keep him from falling asleep. 

"I'm tired, Hazzie." He mumbles with a little frown on his forehead and keeps his eyes closed. 

"Aw, babe. You don't want ice cream then?"

"Want i-" He yawns, wet pink lips forming a perfect circle as he stretches. "I want ice cream, Hazzie."

Bemused, I chuckle and park in an available spot outside our favourite ice cream bar. "Alright, sweetheart. Let's go."

"Carry me, Hazzie!" He proclaims like a little king who fusses rarely, holding his arms up for me when I come around to his seat. 

"Up you go then." 

I unclip his belt and swing him around just because I can hear that magical giggle again, landing him on my hip. He immediately sinks into my chest and hugs my neck, his beautiful face blocked by my neck.

"Hazzie." He whines as I lock the Jaguar and walk onto the sidewalk, my phone and car keys in one hand while my other arm solely supported him. 

"Angel?" I pull the door open with my index finger and walk into a cool room where a thermostat controlled the temperature.

When he responds, it's into my ear in a hushed whisper because the ice cream store is quiet and he doesn't want anyone overhearing him. "Can I have chocolate again?"

"Do you promise to eat every veggie on your plate tonight?"

"Yes!"

"Then okay." I carry him over to the ice cream machines with him holding the pink cup and lime green plastic spoon. 

He chooses chocolate and vanilla together, making me stretch my fingers to accommodate the bowl while he thinks to himself. With everything else in my hand, it begins to hurt a little. My Louis is only done after he's given me an affirmative nod and he's gotten to put his traditional toppings of Oreo chunks.

After a day of eating junk, I plan to make my Louis have a good bath before downing a glass of water and eating a good meal. He now eats his ice cream without offering me - something he only ever does when he's really enjoying himself - and is silent all the way home.

"Get these clothes off for me." I tell him after we're safely inside the apartment. 

"Smelly?" He appears more cute when he tries to stretch the material of his shirt.

"No, babe. You have to be in the tub by the time I get there." I kiss his forehead and unbutton the tab closest to his neck that he always forgot about. 

"Yes, Hazzie." He's already gone into my bathroom with his dirty shirt on my bedroom floor. 

Sighing with an amused shake of my head, I drop my bag at my desk and leave my other belongings on the table's surface. There's a tan line where my watch is and I lifelessly massage it while listening to the tap of my bath tub open, following my ritual of waiting until Louis was covered with soapy water before going in.

"What would you like for dinner, Master Styles?" Our housekeeper asks me when I show up in the kitchen to leave my travel mug in the dishwasher. 

"Whatever my father told you this morning." I reply. My old man always told her what to make for supper before he left for work, considering we had two other people in our home.

"He didn't tell me." She catches me before I leave, correcting herself by _not_ missing out my title. "Master Styles, he didn't tell me anything."

"Anything will do." I try to think of something suitable. "Your Swedish meatballs and any kind of pasta."

She nods and goes about making her specialty, letting me leave the room to go tend to my Louis. He's sitting in the tub when I find him, halting the splashing of water with his arms when I push the door open.

"What were you up to?" I ask his suspicious self, raising my eyebrow when he giggles and grabs a blackrubber duck.

"Nothing, Hazzie!" He replies, the loud volume alerting me of the tiny lie. 

"Okay then." I pull a stool close to the lip of the tub and sit on it. "You never finished telling me about your trip, angel."

"We saw old animals." He tells me, eyes wide in that childish fascination of his, while he found the soap. "Really, really, really-"

"Okay, okay." I chuckle in fondness, handing him his own sponge to use. It's become a ritual for me to be present while he bathes. "Did you make any new friends?"

I hope to deepest part of my gut that he didn't.

"No." He shakes his head vehemently. "We aren't allowed to talk to strangers, Hazzie. Remember?"

"Oh yes, love. My bad." I find it easier to tell him with a little smile that's always just for him. "So there's no school tomorrow, is there?"

"No school." He starts lathering up his body, baby soft skin turning pink with his concentrated attention on each limb. 

"Gonna sleep all day?" I ask him, diverting my gaze to the bathroom tiles and beyond. I still couldn't survive a prolonged glance in my angel's direction.

"No, no." He shakes his head again, over enthusiastic to display his answer. I have to still him with my index under his chin. "Hi, Hazzie."

I bend down and kiss his wet forehead because I'm a ruined man, destroyed all by this little wonder with a pixie grin. My lips make contact with and stick to the damp skin. "Hey, angel."

His hand, dripping with soapy water, reaches up above his height to pat my jaw. I smile with a breathy exhale and turn my head to kiss his small palm thrice. He giggles loudly and holds his hand out again for another kiss when I pull away.

My lips get one more taste of his skin before I cut myself off. He's still smiling when he asks me a nerve wrecking question. "Do you love me, Hazzie?"

"Oh angel." I stare at his sweet face, rounded blue pits for me to drown in getting deeper. The barricades in my chest get tighter, squeezing my heart and milking it of everything I've ever felt so I'm bare before this boy.

He doesn't seem satisfied with my incomplete response. "I love you, Hazzie. Do you love me?"

I feel like I've been punched in the lower abdomen so many times that I bled out onto these pale tiles, left naked and broken until I'm revived by just those words. They don't restore me to my full strength either, I'm a limping man who has enough life to offer my committment to my Louis.

"Sweetheart." I start, curling my fingers around his _thin_ wrist. "More than you could ever know."

Minutes later I carry him out of the tub with a large towel wrapped around him, taking him into my bedroom to get dressed with still no air in my deflated lungs. He doesn't understand the extent to which he's ripped my chest open by such short words. He never will.

He does like my little scattered kisses on his cheek and shoulders, not daring to go further. I couldn't handle it and he wouldn't appreciate the devotion. Later.

"Which PJ's, babe?" I ask him, holding up two options. They're both Spiderman but he seems to care about the difference.

"That one, Hazzie." He points to his favoured one and I give it to him as a set, leaving the other one back in my closet.

The night hastened and in no time we were done with dinner, just the two of us at the dinner table. Louis got his own chair where he fidgeted constantly and took twice as long to finish his food. He did as promised by eating all the vegetables in his plate, being as polite as he can by taking his plate ahead of me to the kitchen.

He sits on the bathroom counter while he brushes his teeth. I have to pick him up and set him down for the process, contributing towards the reasons why I'm visiting our chiropractor in a few days for back pain. I'd never go if it wasn't bad enough to keep me up at night sometimes, like a slow burn up my spinal column.

"Comfy?" I ask him like I always do once we're under the covers, facing each other. 

"Yeah." He resumes the same position for sleeping: rolled up into a ball under the comforter with both hands shoved under his pillow. "Comfy, Hazzie?"

I find myself laughing softly at the question. "I am, angel."

"Sleep now, Hazzie." He informs me, shutting his eyes with theatrics. 

"Okay." I stretch forward and kiss his forehead. "Goodnight, babe."

He preens and beams at me when I withdraw from the sinful expanse of his skin, winking down at him just to hear that musical laughter again. What he accomplishes next throws me as scraps for the dogs.

My eyes shut for the milisecond it takes for me to blink but this time there's no mischevious little lad a distance away when they're open again. There's a pair of lips, tiny and thin and _so soft_ pressing against mine. I stop breathing, thinking and just _living_ for those few seconds as my body shuts down to stare blankly at he who dared to act first.

Inner conflict runs rife within me. I push back just to make sure he's not messing with me but those lips, with that _taste_ remain exactly where they are. This can't happen. My angel is too young.

I didn't hear door open. I don't hear the first few words of a high-pitched shout. I'm left dumbfoundedly staring at my Louis still as someone screams. 

"What _is this_?!" Jennifer screeches, horror showing in her voice.


	10. C10

**_[A/N: *unsuspicious and scared cough* This is the.....last chapter...I will miss this story. It was fun and adorable to write. Louis is a sweetheart here and Harry's a tad more of an intellectual than in any other story I've written. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. - S xx]_ **

_Everybody in their own imagination decides what is scary._

**"What _is this_?!" Jennifer screeches, horror showing in her voice.**

I pull away from the frighteningly close proximity I'm in with my Louis' taste still alive and tingling on my lips. His kiss was innocent, not at all in the way that lovers kiss. He was merely seeking some physical affection that's of a genuine child-like nature. 

No matter the amount of breath it stole from my poor lungs and deactivated the pulse through my heart, nothing terrified me more than witnessing him being dragged away.

Before he's gone, gone from my life for real, I grab him by his other arm that Jennifer isn't holding onto. Her eyes are positively lethal in the way they find mine, cursing my existence out loud. Louis is crying and that's all I can hear above her cussing.

Louis actually chooses me over her and that's what gave me the motivation to not let him go when I know I should. Involuntarily, my arm cages his narrow waist and I pull him down to me. Against my chest he sobs loudly, wetting my shirt with his tears and hugging my neck tightly. 

"Let go of him!" His mother nearly screeches at me, weakly avoiding his arm again with her claw-like fake nails when I shield him as much as I can.

Sliding off the bed, I keep Louis tucked in safely under my chin with no plans to give him up ever. Not to this woman who didn't appreciate or love him. Despite the rage thickening my blood, I decide to keep my voice level. "You are the one scaring him."

She stomped over to me like a one-woman storm. "He's _my_ son and from what I just saw-"

 _"Saw?"_ I antagonize, cradling the back of Louis' head as he sniffled into my shoulder. "What exactly did you see?"

Her eyes narrow on me. "Let _go_ of my son."

"Are you wrongly accusing me of something, Jennifer?" I press, my glare twice as powerful as hers. There's an unsettling dark sensation tugging on the puppet strings of my mind and I can imagine how intimidating I come across as. 

"I saw you kiss him. My son is _nine years old_ and you kissed him, you monster!" She poked my chest with her overly done sharp nail. "You're _sick._ "

And hearing all this had none of the effect it is supposed to on me, except that my jaw gets painfully tight on its own. I don't let her take Louis from me no matter how hard she tries, ending with more fitful wailing from my angel when her nails scrape him soft skin or scratch mine.

"Shh." I turn around to face the wall, my own voice shaking as I tried to comfort my Louis. "Shh, angel."

"What the Hell is going on?!" My father doesn't knock, just barges in with his tie undone and suit missing its jacket. "Harry?"

Louis hides his face again, wiping his tears and wetness from his nose on my shirt. I try not to jostle him in what ways might be uncomfortable, listening to the muted rambling shouts of his mother. She was screaming and pointing to me, swearing out things that I tried to block out with my hands over Louis' ears.

"H-Hazzie-" 

"Hush." I swipe my thumb across his cheek, wide-eyed and nervous myself, cleaning his sweet skin of the wetness dampening it. "Hush, my angel."

Something felt wrong in my gut. It felt twisted and made the rest of me nauseous. My father looked at me after hearing all that Jennifer had to say. "What is she..... _saying_ , Harry?"

_She's saying I'm a corrupt soul. I'm saying I love her son. He's my angel._

"She's not saying anything." I flash Jennifer an ungrateful and spiteful look. "She barges into _my room_ and accuses me of the worst things! Since when is anyone allowed to do that?"

My father's exhaustion is openly displayed when he pinches the bridge of his nose and briefly shuts him eyes. "Jen-Jennifer says you-"

I prepare to lie in order to keep the frightened angel in my arms where he is. "Kissed Louis? I did and it was on the mouth, as we've done before bed always. It's a _harmless kiss_ done by many people." 

Jennifer crosses her arms over her chest when my father looks at her for a returning comment which he doesn't get. After several uncomfortable and awkward seconds, she relents in her glower aimed at me.

"It's still inappropriate." She snaps. "He's still a boy and you aren't his real brother."

The blow was severe to my chest and the one most important organ it protected, but I tried to take it well. "Fine. We won't do it again if that's what you want."

"Still." She persists. The inconsiderate bitch. "I don't think he and Louis should be this....close."

I open my mouth with a vicious comeback but to my utter shock, my father _defends_ me. "In all fairness, Jen, my son has been taking care of yours at all the times you couldn't. Louis doesn't seem to be uncomfortable around him either."

Feeling smug, I struggle to suppress my smirk of satisfaction at the way Jennifer's face twists unhappily. She is his mother and does have the final say, as unfortunate as it is, but I sincerely doubted she possessed the knowledge to fully understand that authority. My father had control over her with the thickness of his wallet and success of his company. Judging by Jennifer's very forthcoming and sickly impulsive desires based on materialistic gain, Louis meant little to her even if he was her flesh and blood.

"Jen, love." My old man tries again, clearly tired of the fact that this debaccle is still ongoing. "My Harry is completely trustworthy. You know that."

It takes a minute of her thinking it over in that warped little mind of her before she drops his arms to retire from this fight and leaves my room in a huff. My dad stands there with no purpose for a short while longer until I decide to intersect his path of departure.

"Thank you." My voice is is thick and finds difficulty in crawling up my throat. 

In almost twenty years of life I never thanked my father for anything and today I'm doing it because of the wonderful little boy I held in my arms who almost got taken away from me. 

He gives me one of his short and awkward smiles before walking out, shutting my door behind him. 

Alone again, I swallow thickly and return all my attention to my Louis who almost didn't last in my arms. He has ended his saddening cries and is twirling one of the threads on the shoulder-pad of my shirt. His sniffles had been reduced to the ocassional pulling on his nose and hurried rub, his one arm tiredly draped around my neck.

"Angel?" I rub his back soothingly as I sit down on the edge of my bed, settling my hands on his small feet as they rest on my one side.

Slowly, my Louis comes out of where he's ducking and looks up at me with immense trepidation. His blue, blue eyes are a little bloodshot where he's rubbed too hard and his tiny hands fiddle with the buttons on his pyjama pants.

"Are you okay, angel?" I ask again, rubbing his arm with my thumb and kissing his temple.

"I-I'm sorry, Hazzie." He breaks into a sob again, throwing himself at me to cry where he did before. 

"What for, babe?" I draw myself further up on the bed and cross my legs, troubled by this response by my Louis. I give him a squeeze in my embrace and rock him gently back and forth. "Shh. Don't cry, angel."

"I g-got you in-in trouble!" He howls, forehead pressed against my chest and his gaze lowered.

"Oh no, lovely boy." I lift his vision by his chin, making those gorgeous blue eyes connect with mine. His lips quiver and they're so soft, so pink with all the crying he's been doing. "It isn't your fault."

"No?" He grabs hold of my hand when it reaches up to brush his chubby cheek. 

"No." I chuckle convincingly, letting the warmth of that happiness light up my mood. 

"M-Ma isn't angry with me?"

"Lou, your Ma just didn't understand what was happening." I try to explain whilst being as confused as I sincerely was. With my thumbs grazing his perfect cheekbone structure, I decide to end that. "Why did you kiss me, angel?"

He looks away from me but it makes my heart gallop the way he smiles shyly. He's still _so young_ and so breathtaking. This boy will end me one day. 

"I-I just want to, Hazzie. Not like big people kisses." He makes a wild hand gesture that does nothing to indicate what he means. "Like-Like sweet kisses."

With a smile that's not so wide on my lips but satisfied anyway, I tap his pouty lips with my finger to freeze his tirade of words. "It's alright, my angel. I understand." 

"You do?" He shows off his perfect teeth, one slightly crooked amongst them all, when he grins.

"Yes." I peck his forehead and reach over to finally put the bedside lamp off. "It's time for bed now, angel."

I get both of us comfortable under the covers with more distance between our bodies than before the big argument. Louis should never have had to witness the ugliness of that fight. 

He rolls onto his back with his arms splayed out on either side of him, one tucked under the pillow upon which his head rests and the other lingering close to mine. I'm always asleep on my front, my elbows jutting out from beneath the sheets as I hide my arms under my pillow.

"Comfy?" I ask him after a minute's silence, daring to reach over and rub the space between his shoulderblades with my fingers. 

"Yeah." He yawns with an open mouth against his pillow. "Hazzie?"

"Yes, angel?" I respond to his calling, comforted by the truth that that he likes when I massage his back. It seems to help both him and I in relaxing.

"Are you working tomorrow?" He asks me with yet another yawn that stretches his mouth wide open and makes his eyes water.

I think about it for a while and how tomorrow is Saturday. Usually, I'm at the office on Saturdays but tonight is when my heart feels like its new home is my throat and the cavity that once protected it is now a hollowed tusk. If I woke up early enough, a reasonable excuse can be made by phoning in. Despite my father owning the company, I never found interest in using that upper-hand. 

"I'm off tomorrow." I tell him softly, quietly with half my face smashed into the pillow. 

"Yay!" He says a bit loudly before quickly slapping both palms over his mouth. 

With a chuckle, I get his hands to budge from where they are and he giggles abruptly tossing around in an attempt to find a better position. I let him go through the whole process before just landing on his side, facing me with a big smile. 

"Are you not tired, babe?" I ask, mirroring his position and pulling the comforter closer over his shoulders.

"Nah uh." He shakes his head, not stopping until I still him with my hand. "Can we cuddle, Hazzie? We always cuddle."

Of course my Louis would let slip the past hour that will always haunt some part of my nagging subconscious. He doesn't remember the horror of facing his mother who is a woman with no brains and thinks she has absolutely all the power. I do though and when he takes my silence for granted, slipping under my arm with his back curved to fit against my chest, I can't bring out the words to protest.

The biggest possible part of me thrived on the moments when I got to be this close to my Louis, close my eyes and listen to his slow breathing as he fell asleep. Nothing was better in the world than having him tucked under my head, asleep and content where no harm will ever come to him. I kiss his hair and wrap my arm around him over the covers, tucking him in. 

"Comfy now, angel?" I ask him, trying to keep my lips from straying onto his face and neck.

"Yeah." He yawns behind his small and curled fist. "Hazzie, I can't sleep."

"And why is that?" I push some of his unruly chestnut locked behind his ear. 

"I dunno." He answers with long syllables and a suspicious tone, ending with a quick giggle.

"Too much candy?" I tickle his sides and he bursts out laughing, rolling around trying to avoid me while at the same time trying to burrow into my chest. "Yes? I think so."

"Hazzie!" He protests against my assaults, only bringing more light into my life by letting me see him so happy and unrestricted. 

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." I stop before any more wild suspicions come barreling through my door to throw curse words at me. 

Louis takes both my hands by my thumbs, holding onto them with his whole tiny hand wrapped around the appendages. He wiggled them pointlessly over his chest and resumed his previous condition. I take in his sweet scent from the cartoon branded body wash he used, coupled with fabric softener from his clothing. He himself was a delight to be around, a lovely little soul with so much to offer.

"Hazzie, sing for me." He kindly requests just like he has only thrice prior to tonight. 

My Louis asks me to sing softly in his ear whenever he finds that sleep is really evading him and threatens to become quite the displeasure. He wants to sleep but cannot and nothing gave me more peace of mind or pleasure at heart to know whatever he heard in _my voice_ made him relax.

"Okay." I move one hand from around him to under the pillow we were partly sharing.

He waits eagerly for me to begin while I consider the lyrics floating around in my head. Today has been quite the day. My time with Louis has been the ultimate rollercoaster and I the perfect melody to suit it.

_"Hey angel. Do you know the reasons why we look up to the sky? Hey angel. Do you look at us and laugh when we hold on to the past?"_

  
* * * * *  


***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Are you okay, Lou? Does anything hurt?" Harry asks his lovely boyfriend for the dozenth time, deeply concerned about anything that could go wrong at this time.

"Hazzie." Louis replies calmly, squeezing Harry's hand between both of his as he got comfortable on the doctor's upright bed. "It's just an appointment."

"Yes, angel. But-" Harry kisses all of Louis' knuckles and his neck. "-does anything _hurt_ right now?"

"No." Louis pouts his lips and elongates the response. "I feel fine. Does anything hurt for _you_?"

Harry gives Louis an amused but still worried eye roll. "Lots of things, babe."

Louis lay on the doctor's bed with his feet dangling off the low end. He snuggled up close to his paranoid boyfriend who stood at his side with his arm around Louis' shoulders. "Like what?"

Harry looks down at him with a little smile, dropping a kiss on Louis' nose and lips. "Doesn't hurt anymore, love."

The reason they were in their doctor's office is that it's Louis' due to find out the gender today as well as Harry can hear the heartbeat again. He's so enthralled and subdued by that miracle, the sound of his baby's heart beating so strongly. It will never fail to throw him off any train of thought.

"Hello." Their door opened and a kind face with a white coat walked in. "It's nice to see you both again. How's Baby?" 

He shook Harry's hand and Louis', coming straight to the computer screen of a monitor by Louis' side. Using the file he brought in with him, he taps some things into the keyboard quickly. 

"Baby is fine. Daddy isn't so fine." Louis mused, his eyes twinkling as they met Harry's. 

"Well, it's normal to be feeling anxiety around this time." Dr. Jerkins justifies. "All the time is not so good because you need to be there for Mommy."

"He's always here for me." Louis promises, squeezing Harry's clammy hand again. 

"That's wonderful because the third trimester is going to need both of you. For now, would you like to reveal the sex of the baby?"

After the anticipation degraded to passive excitement, Dr. Jerkins rubbed the cool gel over Louis' lower tummy and gets the wan. Harry briefly kisses Louis' neck to soothe both their nerves and watches the screen come to life with grey matter. Then, the curled up figure of their unborn little wonder comes into view.

"Still beautiful." Harry murmurs, unheard by the doctor and making Louis smile at him through their kiss. "So beautiful."

The heartbeat comes through the faint speakers of the machine and Harry's breath stutters. It's stronger _than his_ while at the same time seeming to complete their family in a fragile way that needed him to keep it safe and loved. 

Louis saw the conflicting emotions scathing Harry's eyes and gripped his elbow to bring him closer to him. "It's okay, Hazzie. Our baby is going to be so big and healthy."

"There we go." Dr. Jerkins points to something on the screen with his long index finger. "Looks like it's a boy, gentlemen."

"Oh." Louis sits up straighter to look at the screen, a hand over his mouth in the hopes that his tears won't be so evident. 

Harry is fascinated by the image of their baby, staring at it with his hand on Louis' thigh and nothing but a reflective image in his mind. It fills him with such intense _fondness_ to know that he and his Louis _made_ that little beauty in Louis' womb. 

How could he ever have been reluctant about this? Maybe the baby isn't here yet but he's certain being a father will be easier than any challenge he's experienced.

"I'll give you two a minute." Dr. Jerkins politely - and routinely - says before leaving them with a printed sonogram of their little one.

"Oh babe." Harry cups both sides of Louis' face, kissing him firmly and with something unspoken coming to the tip of his tongue. "I love you so much."

Louis wipes the wetness from under his eyes and Harry kisses both his cheeks, making the boy giggle after his crying. "I love you too, Hazzie."

Harry smiles brightly with his powerful dimples popping. He wipes the cold gel off Louis' tummy before returning to the task to peppering kisses all over Louis' face. "I love you. I love this baby."

Trying to laugh but being caught up in his emotional state, Louis can only fist the lapels of Harry's jacket and hold him close. Harry kisses his temple thrice and his lips twice more. He can taste the salt of Louis' sweet tears on his mouth and draws it into his mouth by savouring their kiss.

"You're going to be an amazing father, Hazzie." Louis tells his lover, peering up through his lashes. "You know that, don't you?"

Not needing to force his smile, Harry returns the joy with as much energy as he can without being forced. It's so easy to experience this exuberance with his lovely angel and now they're about to get an even smaller angel who belongs to them, will be needing them for affection and care.

"I hope so, babe." Harry helps Louis off the bed and onto his feet, pulling the boy's sweater down over his bump.

Louis takes Harry's hand as they headed out, trying not to fondly giggle as the other future parents watch him get kisses on his knuckles. They meet Dr. Jerkens again for the final round of pamphlets and prescription renewal for Louis' prenatal vitamins.

"Are you good?" Harry had aided Louis in climbing into the front passenger seat and buckled him in. "Need anything?"

"Nope." Louis had a hand braced over his bump, avoiding the discomfort of a seatbelt by loosening it. "Can we get Makkies?"

"Of course." Harry got into the driver's seat and brought the engine to life with a twist of his key in the ignition. "Nuggets and French fries?"

"And that new spicy burger special they have." Louis has his face turned to everything that's outside his window, blurry images passing him by. 

Harry goes through McDonalds impatiently because the attendents were lazy and taking their own sweet time in conveying his order. Despite his rage, he is polite them all because they are handling his Louis' food that will eventually nourish his _unborn baby._

Two days later they're browsing for baby names together in bed with Louis between his legs. Louis held the book and Harry had the pencil, tapping the erasor on Louis' thigh while the boy drew swirls on his bent knees.

"Jackson or Aiden?" Harry can hardly listen in focus to what Louis is saying, as his hand that got to feel the life in the boy's tummy and his lips that were murmuring absentminded words against Louis' neck was enough distraction.

"Aiden." Harry mumbles, lips dragging across Louis' temple.

"Aiden or Noah?" 

"Still Aiden."

"Aiden or Benjamin?"

"Aid-"

"Aiden, okay." Louis giggles, scratching out another one. "Eli?"

"I like Eli." Harry peppers sweet kisses along Louis' neck, sucking faint red marks into that soft skin. "Eli James."

 _"Yes."_ The tip of Louis' little pink tongue pokes out at the corner of his mouth when he jots it down. "That's such an adorable name."

Harry pouts by jutting his lower lip out where it's pressed to Louis' pulse. "It's a strong name for a baby boy, Lou."

"We can call him Jamie or Jay or _EJ_." Louis' lips become rounded. "EJ, Hazzie!"

"I like it too, babe." Harry smiles when Louis asks for a kiss with a cute pout. "Our little EJ."

**_[A/N: I know I didn't work up until the grand fight scene that separated Harry & Louis for a while but I couldn't do that without sacrificing a lot of the plot because that's years ahead. I apologise if this let anyone down in terms of plot, but I thank you all for reading anyway. - S xx]_ **


End file.
